Smarmy personals ads. Daring declarations of love. Writer-for-hire Jaine Austen has penned them all. But when one of the love connections she made is broken up by murder, Jaine finds herself freelancing free-of-charge—and uncovering more than she bargained for. . . No one seems to need her help more than geeky, gawky Howard Murdoch. His request is simple a letter proclaiming his undying love for Stacy Lawrence, a gorgeous aerobics instructor. The fact that he's never actually met the woman gives Jaine pause—but she soon overcomes her misgivings, warms up her computer, and starts pitching woo on Howard's behalf. To Jaine's surprise, the letter is a success—the unlikely Romeo lands a date! But his triumph is, sadly, short-lived. On Valentine's Day, Howard finds Stacy bludgeoned to death with a Thigh Master—and is quickly named the prime suspect. Upon hearing the news, Jaine is shocked. Sure, Howard's awkward, eccentric, and a tiny bit odd. But a murderer? That's hard to believe. Especially after a little sleuthing turns up a whole bunch of people who harbored less-than-loving feelings towards the svelte Stacy. But Jaine had better wrangle her clues quickly, before a crafty killer catches on—and puts a whole new spin on her ghost writing career. . . "This book is laugh-out-loud funny. A real winner!" —Laurien Berenson

Jaine still hasn't found a good man—or a way to keep all those sugary snacks from going straight to her hips. But—with a little help from her best friend Kandi—she's finally landed a gig as a sitcom writer! True, Muffy 'n Me (aka Bewitched with Tits) isn't going to win any Emmys. And her office at Miracle Studios needs a little sprucing up, and a few dozen rat traps. But it sure beats writing boring brochures and bad resumes, so Jaine's not complaining. Until the plot thickens—with murder . . . Jaine figures the trouble all started when Muffy 'n Me's hottest star, gorgeous Quinn Kirkland, seduced the head writer—whose husband also works on the show. But when Quinn's caught in bed with the barely-legal actress who plays his niece, things really heat up—and his many jealous girlfriends start to figure things out . . . So when the no-good heartthrob drops dead after nibbling a poisoned doughnut, Jaine isn't terribly surprised. But who could have done it? A competitive costar and a couple of scorned lovers top Jaine's list of suspects, but the police have zeroed in on her man-crazy pal Kandi. She fell hard for Quinn—and nearly fell apart when she learned of all his other women. Now Jaine has to figure out who finally stopped Quinn's cheatin' heart—before her best friend ends up behind bars . . .

A gal with a serious Ben & Jerry's habit can't afford to be too picky about employment opportunities. So when Beverly Hills socialite SueEllen Kingsley offers freelance writer Jaine Austen megabucks to ghostwrite a book of hostess tips, it's time to sharpen the #2s. But everything short circuits when Jaine finds SueEllen floating face down in her tub, fried by her own blow dryer. The primary suspect: Heidi, SueEllen's stepdaughter, whose account of a mysterious blonde fleeing the scene is greeted with skepticism by Beverly Hills' finest. Peroxided suspects abound, including a very private masseuse, a jealous nurse, a former game show hostess . . . even a closet blonde with a surprising secret. One of them is hiding a murderous heart behind pricey highlights, and Jaine's out to expose the killer's dark roots. Because blondes have enough fun without getting away with murder . . .

Finding herself at her friend Lance's favorite boutique, freelance writer-turned-sleuth Jaine Austen gets a job writing the shop's new magazine ads, but when she arrives for work the next day, she finds one of the staff dead, stabbed in the neck by a stiletto. Reprint.

While trying on bathing suits in the communal dressing room at Loehmann's, freelance writer Jaine Austen makes a new friend—a wannabe actress named Pam—and gets a new job: sprucing up Pam's bare-bones resume. Their feeling of connection is mutual, so Pam invites Jaine to join The PMS Club–a women's support group that meets once a week over guacamole and margaritas. But joining the club proves to be more a curse than a blessing for Jaine. Though she is warned that Rochelle, the hostess, makes a guacamole to die for, Jaine never takes the warning literally. Until another PMS member, Marybeth, drops dead over a mouthful of the green stuff. Now instead of dishing dirt with The PMS Club, Jaine has to dig up the dirt on the surviving members. . .

Freelance writer Jaine Austen has never been able to resist the siren call of an Eskimo Pie, just like she can't resist renewing her romance with Andrew, an old crush. With her bank account hitting new lows, she's also just agreed to write jokes for Dorcas, a stand-up comic who throws her pantyhose into the audience as a punch line. Not only is Dorcas' act a bomb, she is heckled by Vic, a gorgeous fellow comic. Naturally when Vic is murdered with Dorcas' pantyhose and that same Dorcas is standing over his dead body, the police arrest...Dorcas. They figure it's an open-and-shut case, although Jaine figures no killer can be that dumb. But when Jaine sets out to find the real culprit, she is distracted by one dating disaster after another with Andrew—and she may not see the dark side of comedy until she faces the business end of a gun and a cold, deadly grin...

When writer-for-hire Jaine Austen signs on to script vows for the ultimate Bridezilla, I do's soon become I wish I hadn't's—and curtains for the bride spell a veil of woes for Jaine . . . Jaine's accepted her share of lame gigs to pay the bills, but rewriting Shakespeare's got to be an all-time low. The fiasco begins with a call from Jaine's high-school nemesis, uber rich uber witch Patti Devane. It seems Patti will soon be sashaying down the aisle with another former classmate from Hermosa High, and she'd like the exchange of vows to evoke Romeo and Juliet . . . except without the downer of an ending. Even worse than the assignment itself is dealing with Patti as a client. At least Jaine's not alone, as nobody can stand the demanding, spoiled, and incredibly rude Bridezilla from Hell. Patti's managed to rack up an amazingly long list of enemies in a short time, not the least of whom include her prospective mother-in-law, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Patti's stolen soon-to-be groom, and just about everyone involved in the wedding preparations. So it isn't a complete surprise when the erstwhile Juliet plunges to her death during her balcony scene.

Wordsmith Jaine Austen's ship has finally come in. Her new teaching gig on a fancy cruise line nabs her a free vacation—and access to a twenty-four-hour buffet! But sooner than you can say bon voyage, Jaine's all-expenses-paid trip to the Mexican Riviera seems destined to be a wreck . . . Things are already off to a rocky start when Jaine discovers a stowaway amidst her luggage—her persnickety cat Prozac. Jaine's sinking sensation grows stronger at dinner, where she meets chatty Emily Pritchard, a wealthy seventy year old who's traveling with her two nephews. Jaine can't help noticing the tension among them, especially when the cruise's charming—and sleazy—British dancer, Graham, whisks Emily out onto the dance floor. Soon Emily is accepting Graham's invitations to every social event on the ship. Two nights later the bubbly couple announces their engagement, but the news is quickly overshadowed the next morning by the discovery of Graham's body with an ice pick protruding from his chest . . . Between hiding a furry fugitive, flirting with Emily's nephew Robbie, and baiting the hook for a clever murderer, Jaine is about to dive into her most dangerous case yet . . .

Without a job or a date in sight, freelance writer Jaine Austen is equally out of luck in finance and romance. So when her friend Lance offers to treat her to brunch at the Four Seasons, Jaine leaps at the invite. They've barely made it through the menu when Lance spots his friend Bunny, who is the new trophy wife of mattress maven Marvin Cooper. When Bunny generously offers Jaine a gig writing Marv's new advertising campaign, Jaine accepts the job, and an invitation to her upcoming soiree. But at the party Bunny cruelly rules the Cooper mansion and before the evening is over, someone poisons Bunny. The police arrest Lance, but Jaine knows his murderous urges end at her closet door. Setting out to clear his name, she soon discovers a list of suspects longer than Bunny's credit card bill. . .

When freelance writer Jaine Austen is surprised with an über-luxe spa getaway, she and her feline pal Prozac are eager to hit the road and bask in a week of pampering and pedicures. But what she gets is a California fat farm in disguise, complete with celery-juice cocktails, humiliating weigh-ins, and a zero-tolerance position on carbs. Among her bulge-battling companions is Mallory Francis, a B-list movie star with a knack for making frenemies. When she's found strangled during a seaweed wrap gone awry, Jaine is hard-pressed to think of anyone who couldn't have done it. While the suspects mount faster than her hunger pangs, Jaine's search for truth, justice and contraband calories leads her straight to a cold-blooded killer—where murder may be on the menu once again. . . "Her books are so outrageously funny, they always make me laugh out loud."—Joanne Fluke Praise for Laura Levine's Jaine Austen series "Delightful. . .Jaine's wit shines throughout." — Publishers Weekly on Pampered to Death "If you love a good mystery, this book is for you." — New York Journal of Books on Death of a Trophy Wife "This will turn out to be a long series. . .likely to be compared to Janet Evanovich for its humor." — I Love a Mystery on This Pen for Hire

When her faithful feline Prozac unwittingly scares to death a parakeet belonging to the neighborhood's resident curmudgeon, Jaine finds herself knee-deep in toil and trouble. The cantankerous Hollywood has-been once played the part of Cryptessa Muldoon, television's fourth most famous monster mom. Now a bitter, paranoid old dame, Cryptessa spends her days making enemies with everyone on the street, and accidental bird killer Jaine is no exception. So when the ornery D-lister is murdered with her own Do Not Tresspass sign on Halloween night, the neighborhood fills with relief—and possible culprits. With a killer on the loose, Jaine hardly has time to fall under the spell of her yummy new neighbor, Peter. As the prime suspect, she summons her sleuthing skills to clear her name and soon discovers that everyone has a few skeletons in their closets—and movtives for murder are endless. Could it have been Cryptessa's next door neighbors, the barracuda husband and wife realtors whose landscaping Cryptessa bulldozed? Or the seemingly sweet old lady whose beloved dog was the object of Cryptessa's wrath? Or perhaps the crotchety actress was done in by her own nephew in a desperate attempt to get his hands on her money? As the masks come off, Jaine's search for sweet justice turns up more questions than answers. And just when she thought nothing could be scarier than her run-in with a tortuous Tummy Tamer, she closes in on the killer and learns the true meaning of grave danger...

A delightful holiday cozy mystery which originally appeared in the Fern Michaels holiday collection, Secret Santa, is made available as an e-book single for the very first time! Aside from the mortifying costume, how bad can a gig as a mall Santa’s elf be? Jaine Austen finds out when she’s teamed up with the Santa from Hell. But things go from bad to worse when he’s found murdered on the job—and Jaine is a suspect. Now all she wants for Christmas is to find the real killer . . .

"I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny, they always make me laugh out loud." —Joanne FlukeLove is in the air as freelance writer Jaine Austen begins a new job at the Dates of Joy matchmaking service. . . When Jaine lands a job writing web copy and brochures for matchmaker Joy Amoroso, she's excited for a chance to help the lovelorn—until she realizes Joy is a ruthless taskmaster who screams at her employees for the smallest infractions, pads her website with pictures of professional models posing as clients, and offers up convincing but empty promises of love. So it's no surprise when the chiseling cupid turns up dead at a Valentine's Day mixer. Now, finding the culprit may prove harder than spotting that elusive caramel praline in a box of chocolates. . . "A well-crafted plot." —Publishers Weekly "The multiple suspects keep readers on the edge of their seats." —RT Book Reviews "Levine's charming heroine is right on target." —Kirkus Reviews

In this merry collection of holiday mysteries, murder is making its own special delivery . . . “GINGERBREAD COOKIE MURDER” by JOANNE FLUKE When Hannah Swensen finds her neighbor Ernie Kusak with his head bashed in and sprawled on the floor of his condo next to an upended box of Hannah’s Gingerbread Cookies, she discovers a flurry of murder suspects that’s as long as her holiday shopping list. “THE DANGERS OF GINGERBREAD COOKIES” by LAURA LEVINE Jaine Austen has been enlisted to help with her parents’ retirement community’s play The Gingerbread Cookie That Saved Christmas . Playboy Dr. Preston McCay is playing the role of the gingerbread cookie when he “accidentally” falls to his death during the final act. Now Jaine must figure out if one of the doctor’s jealous lovers was capable of murder. “GINGERBREAD COOKIES AND GUNSHOTS” by LESLIE MEIER When Lucy Stone discovers the body of Rick Juergens, whose five-year-old son Nemo disappeared, she senses foul play. Crumbs from a gingerbread cookie Lucy gave to Nemo are found in the back seat of Rick’s car. With the hours quickly ticking till Christmas, Lucy races against the clock to find a killer before he strikes again. Includes Over 10 Luscious Holiday Recipes!

“Entertaining…cozy fun.” — Publishers Weekly Freelance writer Jaine Austen thought she knew what she was getting herself into when she landed a gig working behind the scenes at a teen beauty pageant. But between the vicious stage moms, exacting judges, and trash-talking teens, she’s not sure she’s the woman for the job—especially when the catfights turn deadly… Jaine has been hired by über-pushy stage mom Heather Van Sant to write lyrics for her daughter Taylor’s song in the talent competition for the Miss Teen Queen America pageant. It’s different from anything Jaine has done before, but if nothing else, she’s looking forward to a free weekend in a swanky hotel and a chance to see what really goes on backstage at a beauty pageant. But the hotel is a dump, the cattiness is out of control, and Candace—the perfectly-coiffed, whip-cracking pageant director—is making even Jaine’s life miserable. When Candace’s assistant Amy is found bludgeoned to death with a silver tiara, there are more suspects than sequins on a pageant gown—and Heather is first on the list. Taylor begs Jaine to help clear her mom’s name, but the search for the killer hits a dead end as Jaine quickly realizes that finding the culprit is going to be trickier than walking the stage in stilettos…

“Entertaining…cozy fun.” — Publishers Weekly Freelance writer Jaine Austen thought she knew what she was getting herself into when she landed a gig working behind the scenes at a teen beauty pageant. But between the vicious stage moms, exacting judges, and trash-talking teens, she’s not sure she’s the woman for the job—especially when the catfights turn deadly… Jaine has been hired by über-pushy stage mom Heather Van Sant to write lyrics for her daughter Taylor’s song in the talent competition for the Miss Teen Queen America pageant. It’s different from anything Jaine has done before, but if nothing else, she’s looking forward to a free weekend in a swanky hotel and a chance to see what really goes on backstage at a beauty pageant. But the hotel is a dump, the cattiness is out of control, and Candace—the perfectly-coiffed, whip-cracking pageant director—is making even Jaine’s life miserable. When Candace’s assistant Amy is found bludgeoned to death with a silver tiara, there are more suspects than sequins on a pageant gown—and Heather is first on the list. Taylor begs Jaine to help clear her mom’s name, but the search for the killer hits a dead end as Jaine quickly realizes that finding the culprit is going to be trickier than walking the stage in stilettos…

"I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny." —Joanne Fluke The future is looking bright for freelance writer Jaine Austen. She's signed up for a new job, she's looking forward to a tropical vacation, and her cat Prozac is slated to star in a major commercial. But when the claws come out behind the scenes, Jaine worries that murder might be the only thing to meow about. . . A writer's life is far from glamorous. Still, Jaine's new gig to write an ad campaign for Toiletmasters' new line of self-flushing toilets comes with a few perks—including a date with the president's dreamy nephew. And with a much-needed trip to Maui on the horizon, it seems life couldn't get any better—until her cat Prozac is tapped to star in a Skinny Kitty commercial. But Jaine never would have guessed the world of cat food could be quite so catty. . . Jaine is nervous that Prozac won't be able to take direction, but the finicky furball ditches her diva behavior for the camera, eating and napping on cue like a seasoned pro. But just as Jaine begins dreaming of fame and fortune, Skinny Kitty's inventor drops dead on the set. Everyone is a suspect—including Jaine. And she'll have to get her paws on the truth before the killer takes a swipe at another victim. . . Outstanding Praise For Laura Levine's Jaine Austen Mysteries Killing Cupid "Levine offers a well-crafted plot." — Publishers Weekly "Jaine is absolutely hysterical. . .this author continues to write the best cozies." — Suspense Magazine Death Of A Neighborhood Witch "Levine's latest finds her at her witty and wacky best." — Kirkus Reviews Death Of A Trophy Wife "If you love a good mystery, this book is for you." — New York Journal of Books This Pen For Hire "Laura Levine's hilarious debut mystery, This Pen for Hire, is a laugh a page (or two or three) as well as a crafty puzzle. Sleuth Jaine Austen's amused take on life, love, sex and LA will delight readers. Sheer fun!"—Carolyn Hart

Freelance writer Jaine Austen thought working for a knock-off reality show in the tropics would be paradise. But when she and her kitty Prozac find themselves trapped between a dimwitted leading man, catty contestants, and a cold-blooded murderer, the splashy gig becomes one deadly nightmare... Jaine's life has been a royal pain since she started penning dialogue for Some Day My Prince Will Come—a cheesy dating show that features bachelorettes competing for the heart of Spencer Dalworth VII, a very distant heir to the British throne. As if fending off golf ball-sized bugs on a sweltering island wasn't tough enough, Jaine must test her patience against an irritable production crew and fierce contestants who will do anything to get their prince... But Jaine never expected murder to enter the script. When one of the finalists dies in a freak accident, it's clear someone wanted the woman out of the race for good—and the police won't allow a soul off the island until they seize the culprit. Terrified of existing another day without air conditioning and eager to return home, Jaine is throwing herself into the investigation. And she better pounce on clues quickly—or there won't be any survivors left...

“Exemplary . . . a thoroughly enjoyable cozy with just the right balance of crime, humor, and holiday spirit” by the author of Death of a Bachelorette ( Publishers Weekly, starred review). Freelance writer Jaine Austen is feeling festive about spending Christmas house-sitting at a posh Bel Air mansion, accompanied by her friend Lance and her cat, Prozac. But when a grumpy neighbor gets himself iced, she’ll have to find the culprit or she may spend the New Year in jail . . . Scotty Parker is a former child star who once played Tiny Tim, but now he’s grown up into the role of neighborhood Scrooge. He cuts the wires on his neighbors’ Christmas lights and tells local kids that Santa had a stroke. And his miserly, bah-humbug attitude lasts year-round—a fact known all too well by his current wife, his ex-wife, his maid, and many more. Scotty thinks he can stage a comeback with the screenplay he’s working on ( The Return of Tiny Vengeance Is Mine! ), and Jaine’s been reluctantly helping him edit it. So when Scotty is bludgeoned with a frozen chocolate yule log and the police start making a list of suspects and checking it twice, Jaine’s name is unfortunately included. True, she’s been under some stress, with Lance trying to set her up on dates and her fickle feline taking a sudden liking to someone else—but she’s not guilty of murder. Now she just has to prove it . . . Praise for the Jaine Austen mysteries “So outrageously funny.” —Joanne Fluke, New York Times bestselling author “Jaine can really dish it out.” — The New York Times Book Review

Freelance writer Jaine Austen’s life is suddenly full of romance. For one thing, she’s reconnected with her ex—though her cat, Prozac, isn’t happy about it. And Jaine’s also got a new ghostwriting gig, working on a steamy novel called Fifty Shades of Turquoise . . . Daisy Kincaid is in her sixties and heiress to a fortune. Now she wants to make a name for herself as a romance author . . . with a little help from Jaine, that is. As Jaine labors away on love scenes, she gets to know the wealthy woman’s gentleman friend, her household staff, and her social circle—every one of whom is horrified when Daisy falls under the spell of a much younger stud named Tommy, a rude, crude lothario who’s made himself a fixture in Daisy’s Bel Air mansion. After Tommy and Daisy shock everyone by announcing their engagement, it doesn’t take long for someone to stab him in the neck—with the solid gold Swiss Army knife that Daisy gave him as a gift. But to narrow down the list of suspects, Jaine will have to put a bookmark in that love story—and focus all her creative talent into untangling a tale of money and murder . . . “Cozy fans are in for a treat.” —Publishers Weekly

Gathered in one volume for the very first time, here are three yuletide tales of mystery, murder, and romance, featuring your favorite sleuths . . . THE TWELVE DESSERTS OF CHRISTMAS by JOANNE FLUKE It's the perfect mix of naughty and nice when two lovestruck boarding school teachers watch six kids over Christmas break. But when someone wants the cozy couple's romance to burn out faster than a scorched fruitcake, it's Hannah Swensen to the rescue, armed with her sleuthing skills—and twelve deliciously festive recipes . . . NIGHTMARE ON ELF STREET by LAURA LEVINE Aside from the mortifying costume, how bad can a gig as a mall Santa's elf be? Jaine Austen finds out when she's teamed up with the Santa from Hell. But things go from bad to worse when he's found murdered on the job—and Jaine is a suspect. Now all she wants for Christmas is to find the real killer . . . THE CHRISTMAS THIEF by LESLIE MEIER Elizabeth Stone is ready for a white Christmas in Tinker's Cove, Maine—until a fancy Yule ball at the Florida hotel where she works dumps snow on her plans. The sponsor's jewels have gone missing and the police are asking about her ties to a cute mystery guest. Good thing Elizabeth's mother, Lucy Stone, flew down to surprise her. ʼTis the season for a little investigating . . . Includes Luscious Holiday Recipes!

Hollywood writer-for-hire Jaine Austen receives a makeover that leads to murder in the latest laugh-out-loud mystery from TV comedy writer veteran Laura Levine - now in paperback! Uber-stylist Bebe Braddock plans to juice up her Instagram feed and thinks Jaine would make a perfect “Before & After” model. At Lance’s insistence Jaine is ushered into Bebe’s sprawling Brentwood spread to await her transformation. Yet, while the surroundings are glamorous, the atmosphere is toxic as Bebe bullies her team of assistants, and even her husband, into obeying her every whim. Having earned the wrath of everyone in her orbit, few are shocked when Bebe is found strangled with one of her detested wire hangers. But Jaine’s prints are all over the murder weapon, making her a prime suspect. The police, however, aren’t the only ones showing interest in her—so is Justin, Bebe’s very cute, very young personal assistant. While Jaine navigates a cougar-style romance, Prozac is mistakenly hailed as a feline hero and catapults into internet fame. Still, there are more urgent matters at hand than Prozac’s swelling ego. Unless Jaine can track down Bebe’s killer and clear her own name, the only new outfit she’ll be modeling is an orange prison jumpsuit . . .

It’s the funny side of homicide in acclaimed TV comedy writer and novelist Laura Levine’s newest mystery featuring Jaine Austen and her snarky cat, Prozac, as a murder from the past comes back to haunt the Hollywood writer-for-hire! Freelance writer Jaine Austen is all too familiar with the short-lived sitcom I Married a Zombie—she once solved the murder of its star, Cryptessa Muldoon. But in true zombie fashion, Cryptessa is back from the grave—sort of—courtesy of a new theatrical production, and murder is on the bill once more… The Bewitched knockoff I Married a Zombie may have flopped in its day, but it’s got a devoted cult following. Jaine is delighted when one of those rabid fans hires her as script doctor for his new play based on the show—until she reads the awful script and meets Misty, the actress who’ll be playing Cryptessa’s role. Misty has Audrey Hepburn’s doe eyes but not a smidgen of her ability. Yet she can certainly act the diva, demanding a special smoothie every day at 3pm. Meanwhile, Jaine is grappling with another spoiled female—her uncooperative cat, Prozac, who’s refusing to be wrangled into a kitty harness for outside walks. When someone spikes Misty’s signature drink with a fatal shot of rat poison, the cast of suspects extends far beyond the theater. What Misty lacked in talent she made up for in enemies. Everyone Jaine talks to maintains their innocence, but one of them is clearly only playing the part. And it’s up to Jaine to figure out who, before a killer schedules an encore performance . . .