
“Nice to meet you Josh!” came a chorus of voices from all around the bench. Each of the elves could easily have been a model—there was a striking, lithe black one, a gorgeous Asian one with high cheekbones, a long-limbed, tanned blond one, a buff Latino one with gorgeous hair, even a ginger one with porcelain skin and piercing green eyes. These weren’t like any elves I’d heard of. “Hey, I thought elves were supposed to be little and childish?” I said. “Oh, you are thinking of the other guy’s helpers. Well, yes. They are rather small and silly, but you have to remember that they are for children. Our work here is taking care of adults and their sexual needs and so naturally my elves are a little more grown up and well-developed—aren’t you guys?”