I’m marooned on an alien planet with a gigantic, horned, caveman alien! My two best friends and I got in an escape pod before our ship crashed. We landed on a planet that was not hospitable. But the alien that rescued us certainly was. He was easy on the eyes. He gave us water and food. And then lost in space, looking up at the stars, I made out with him… I know, I know. That’s not what your supposed to do with your rescuer. Especially when it’s clear he’s a cave alien. A brute. Ready to throw me over his shoulder and take me to his cave. He says we’re fated to be together. That I’m his jalshagar. That the universe made us for each other. To prove this to me, he pledges to protect me. He brings food so that I’m fed. He gives me shelter and keeps me warm at night. He treats me like a princess during the day. And an object of pleasure at night. Who needs rescue? When you have paradise.