Let me be clear: I’ve been friends with Caitlin Ng for more than a decade, and I’ve had a crush on her for just as long. And I’ve known, all that time, that I wasn’t her type. When we met, we were both studying computer engineering at university. She was near the top of the class, and I was in danger of flunking out. Now, she’s a CEO, and I, well… I’m wearing an inflatable T-Rex costume and dancing along to Christmas carols sung by an elderly barbershop quartet. Yes, I’m being paid to do this. And that’s how Caitlin finds me when she leaves work late in the middle of a snowstorm. She asks to stay with me because her house is farther away and her power is out. Of course, I say yes. When the heat goes out in my apartment and she asks me to join her in bed to snuggle for warmth, I say yes, too. But being so close to her is dangerous for my heart…or could a weekend of Christmas fun actually lead to the romance I desire?

If there’s one thing that might get my dad, a retired math teacher, to visit Toronto and have a real conversation with me for the first time in seventeen years, it’s a big nerdy Pi Day party. And hopefully this party—and seeing the tech company I built from nothing—will finally be enough to impress him and make him forgive me for everything I did when I was a teenager. But it’s got to be a really great party. That’s where Sarah Winters comes in. She owns Happy As Pie, a sweet and savory pie shop, and wants to get into catering. She makes an amazing lamb-rosemary pie, cherry pie, lemon-lime tart…you get the idea. She’ll provide the food and help me plan the party, nothing more. No matter how much time we spend together, I’m not going to fall in love with her. At least, that’s what I tell myself…

I hate ice cream. Ever since my fiancée left me at the altar and skewered me in her bestseller “Embrace Your Inner Ice Cream Sandwich: Finding the Positive You in a World of Negativity,” I haven’t been able to stomach the stuff. Unfortunately, my five-year-old niece is a budding foodie and her favorite place in the world is Ginger Scoops, a cutesy Asian ice cream shop. Since I’ve been looking after my niece a lot lately, I’ve spent too much time there, sipping black coffee, refusing to eat ice cream, and trying not to look at the owner, Chloe Jenkins. Chloe is obnoxiously cheerful, and I can’t stand her. Naturally, I end up kissing her. But I’ve sworn off women after the fiasco with my ex-fiancée, and I’m convinced I’m no good at relationships. Still, with Chloe I’m tempted to do the impossible: give love and ice cream another chance…

Durian is my nemesis. We have a long, painful history. In my opinion, the spiky fruit smells like natural gas and rotten onions with eau de vomit. Bleh. So when Valerie Chow spills her durian ice cream all over me, I shouldn’t fall in love. But despite her fondness for durian, Valerie is beautiful and delightfully prickly and stares at me when I take off my soiled shirt. And somehow, this chance encounter leads to me agreeing to be her fake boyfriend to get her mom off her back about her dating life. Her supposed boyfriend is a pediatric resident, but no big deal, right? My job’s in landscaping, but I can pretend to be a doctor. I’ll charm Valerie and her family, and I’ll figure out why she’s scared of relationships and gave up her career in software development. I’ll even take her to a durian dessert shop. And if I do a great job at being her fake boyfriend, maybe she’ll want me to be her real one…