Books in series
#1
Burglars Can't Be Choosers
1977
Bernie Rhodenbarr is a personable chap, a good neighbor, a passable poker player. His chosen profession, however, might not sit well with some. Bernie is a burglar, a good one, effortlessly lifting valuables from the not-so-well-protected abodes of well-to-do New Yorkers like a modern-day Robin Hood. (The poor, as Bernie would be the first to tell you, alas, have nothing worth stealing.)
He's not perfect, however; he occasionally makes mistakes. Like accepting a paid assignment from a total stranger to retrieve a particular item from a rich man's apartment. Like still being there when the cops arrive. Like having a freshly slain corpse lying in the next room, and no proof that Bernie isn't the killer.
Now he's really got his hands full, having to locate the true perpetrator while somehow eluding the police—a dirty job indeed, but if Bernie doesn't do it, who will?
#2
The Burglar in the Closet
1978
It's hard to ignore someone with his hands in your mouth. Bernie Rhodenbarr's all ears when Dr. Sheldrake, his dentist, starts complaining about his detestable, soon-to-be-ex wife, and happens to mention the valuable diamonds she keeps lying around the apartment. Since Bernie's been known to supplement his income as a bookstore owner with the not-so-occasional bout of high-rise burglary, a couple of nights later he's in the Sheldrake apartment with larceny on his mind—and has to duck into a closet when the lady of the house makes an unexpected entrance. Unfortunately he's still there when an unseen assailant does Mrs. Sheldrake in . . . and then vanishes with the jewels.
Bernie's got to come out of the closet some time. But when he does, he'll be facing a rap for a murder he didn't commit—and for a burglary he certainly attempted—unless he can hunt down the killer who left him hanging.
#3
The Burglar Who Liked to Quote Kipling
1979
Bernie Rhodenbarr has gone legit – almost – as the new owner of a used bookstore in New York's Greenwich Village. Of course, dusty old tomes don't always turn a profit, so to make ends meet, Bernie's forced, on occasion, to indulge in his previous occupation: burglary. Besides which, he likes it.
Now a collector is offering Bernie an opportunity to combine his twin passions by stealing a very rare and very bad book-length poem from a rich man's library.
The heist goes off without a hitch. The delivery of the ill-gotten volume, however, is a different story. Drugged by the client's female go-between, Bernie wakes up in her apartment to find the book gone, the lady dead, a smoking gun in his hand, and the cops at the door. And suddenly he's got to extricate himself from a rather sticky real-life murder mystery and find a killer – before he's booked for Murder One.
#4
The Burglar Who Studied Spinoza
1980
Long out-of-print, this installment of the best-selling series finds the intrepid thief uncovering some deadly competition as someone following his nocturnal activities enters after Bernie has left and commits murder. Reprint.
#5
The Burglar Who Painted Like Mondrian
1983
It's not that used bookstore owner and part-time burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr believes the less legal of his two professions is particularly ethical. (It is, however, a rush, and he is very good at it.) He just thinks it's unfair to face a prison term for his legitimate activities. After appraising the worth of a rich man's library—conveniently leaving his fingerprints everywhere in the process—Bernie finds he's the cops' prime suspect when his client is murdered.
Someone has framed Bernie Rhodenbarr better than they do it at the Whitney. And if he wants to get out of this corner he's been masterfully painted into, he'll have to get to the bottom of a rather artful—if multiply murderous—scam.
#5.3
Like A Thief In The Night
2011
“Like a Thief in the Night” is a Bernie Rhodenbarr short story that’s probably entirely unknown to most of Bernie’s fans. Not only does it lack the word burglar in the title, but Bernie’s not the story’s viewpoint character. It’s told entirely through the spirited and enterprising young woman whose fate it is to walk in on our lad in mid-job, all in a near-empty office building in the middle of the night. That could be pretty frightening, but hey, it’s Bernie. She’s got nothing to be afraid of, and neither do we.
The story originated in the late 70s, commissioned by a women’s magazine called Savvy, with a suite of offices in the huge old Port Authority building on Ninth Avenue in Chelsea. A couple of editors decided it was an intimidating location late at night, and thought it would be a good setting for a short story, even though they hadn’t yet run any fiction. One of them knew my work, and they got in touch.
I wrote the story, and they loved it and paid a decent price for it, but they never seemed to find room for it in an issue of the magazine. They kept scheduling it and changing their minds, and it seems to me they changed editors in the bargain, and after a couple of years of this they went out of business. Which was a pity, because it was an interesting publication, except for the fiction—of which, alas, there wasn’t any. My agent got the story back, and I believe he sent it over to Cosmopolitan, and no end of online sources now assure me that it ran in that magazine’s May 1983 issue.
And maybe it did. Except I don’t have a copy of the magazine, and don’t think I ever saw one. I’ve seen Cosmo’s May 1983 cover, it’s not hard to find online, and they blurbed eight or nine major pieces on it, and my story is not among them. Well, really, what difference does it make? It either ran there or it didn’t, and it’s been in short story collections of mine since, including my omnibus, Enough Rope. I had to read it closely in order to format the scanned story for ePublication, and I was pleased to find that I like it a lot. I can only hope, Dear Reader, that it works as well for you.
#5.7
The Burglar Who Dropped in on Elvis
1999
Mystery story "The burglar who dropped in on Elvis." Narrated by Bruce Weitz. Bruce Weitz reads with a slick, dark voice that's perfect for these sordid tales. "The Merciful Angel of Death."
#6
The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams
1994
Bernie Rhodenbarr is actually trying to earn an honest living. It's been an entire year since he's entered anyone's abode illegally to help himself to their valuables. But now an unscrupulous landlord's threat to increase Bernie's rent by 1,000% is driving the bookseller and reformed burglar back to a life of crime—though, in all fairness, it's a very short trip. And when the cops wrongly accuse him of stealing a priceless collection of baseball cards, Bernie's stuck with a worthless alibi since he was busy burgling a different apartment at the time . . . one that happened to contain a dead body locked inside a bathroom.
So Bernie has a dilemma. He can trade a burglary charge for a murder rap. Or he can shuffle all the cards himself and try to find the joker in the deck—someone, perhaps, who believes that homicide is the real Great American Pastime.
#7
The Burglar Who Thought He Was Bogart
1995
Bookseller Bernie Rhodenbarr's in love—with an exotic Eastern European beauty who shares his obsession with Humphrey Bogart movies. He's in heaven, munching popcorn with his new amour every night at a Bogart Film Festival—until their Casablanca -esque idyll is cut short by his other secret passion: burglary . When he's hired to pilfer a portfolio of valuable documents from a Park Avenue apartment, Bernie can hardly refuse. But the occupant's early return forces Bernie to flee empty-handed—and he soon finds himself implicated in a murder. Before you can say "who stole the strawberries?" he's hunting for a killer, up to his neck in the outrageous intrigues of a tiny Balkan nation . . . and menaced by more sinister fat men and unsavory toadies than the great Bogie himself butted heads with in pursuit of that darn bird!
#8
The Burglar in the Library
1997
Bookseller and New-Yorker-to-the-bone, Bernie Rhodenbarr rarely ventures out of Manhattan, but he's excited about the romantic getaway he has planned for himself and current lady love Lettice at the Cuttleford House, a remote upstate b&b. Unfortunately, Lettice has a prior engagement—she's getting married . . . and not to Bernie—so he decides to take best buddy Carolyn instead. A restful respite from the big city's bustle would be too good to waste. Besides, there's a very valuable first edition shelved in the Cuttleford's library that Bernie's just itching to get his hands on. Did we neglect to mention that Bernie's a burglar? But first he's got to get around a very dead body on the library floor. The plot's thickened by an isolating snowstorm, downed phone lines, the surprise arrival of Lettice and her reprehensible new hubby, and a steadily increasing corpse count. And it's Bernie who'll have to figure out whodunit . . . or die.
#8.5
The Burglar Who Smelled Smoke
2011
“The Burglar Who Smelled Smoke” features Bernie Rhodenbarr, the lighthearted and lightfingered hero of ten mystery novels. You’ll note that it bears a joint byline. Lynne Wood Block, my frequent companion, came up with the basic idea and did the requisite research. Then I sat down and wrote the story, which was the easy part.
It was published as a special insert in Mary Higgins Clark’s mystery magazine and in an anthology of similar husband/wife collaborations, and has been chosen for locked-room anthologies. I included it in my omnibus collection of short fiction, Enough Rope, so if you already own that book, or want to acquire it in eBook form, you may not need to snap up this present offering.
I supose it’s inevitable that a burglar should star in a classic locked-room mystery story. Bernie’s in another as well, “The Burglar Who Dropped In On Elvis,” and one of these days I’ll make that available.
#9
The Burglar in the Rye
1998
A new crime novel featuring Bernie Rhodenbarr, bookshop owner and burglar, who cannot help but come to the aid of a favourite author when his agent offers their very private correspondence for public sale. From the author of THE BURGLAR IN THE LIBRARY.
#10
The Burglar on the Prowl
2001
A philosophical yet practical gentleman, Bernie Rhodenbarr possesses many admirable charm, intelligence, sparkling wit, and unwavering loyalty. Of course, he also has this special talent and a taste for life's finer things. So he's more than willing to perform some vengeful larceny for a friend—ripping off a smarmy, particularly deserving plastic surgeon—for fun and a very tidy profit. But during a practice run at another address, Bernie's forced to hide under a bed when the lady of the house returns unexpectedly with the worst kind of blind date in tow. In no time, Bernie's up to his burgling neck in big trouble. Again. And this time it includes his arrest, no less than four murders, and more outrageous coincidences than any self-preserving felon should ever be required to tie together.
#11
The Burglar Who Counted the Spoons
2013
Ever since The Burglar on the Prowl climbed the bestseller lists in 2004, fans have been clamoring for a new book featuring the lighthearted and lightfingered Bernie Rhodenbarr. Now everybody's favorite burglar returns in an eleventh adventure that finds him and his lesbian sidekick Carolyn Kaiser breaking into houses, apartments, and even a museum, in a madcap adventure replete with American Colonial silver, an F. Scott Fitzgerald manuscript, a priceless portrait, and a remarkable array of buttons. And, wouldn't you know it, there's a dead body, all stretched out on a Trent Barling carpet...
#12
The Burglar Who Met Fredric Brown
2022
Suppose you're Bernie Rhodenbarr.
You've got a dream job, running your own cozy secondhand bookstore, complete with Raffles, your caudally challenged cat. It's in Greenwich Village, and your best friend's dog grooming salon is two doors away, and the two of you lunch together and meet for drinks after work.
And you've got another way to make a buck. Every once in a while you put your conscience on the shelf and let yourself into someone else's residence, and you leave with more than you came with. You're a burglar, and you know it's wrong, but you love it.
And you're good at it. You've got two ways to make a living, one larcenous, the other literary and legitimate, and you're good at both of them.
Nice, huh?
Until the 21st Century pulls the rug out from under you. All of a sudden the streets of your city are so overpopulated with security cameras and closed-circuit TV that you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to have an undocumented moment. And locks, which used to provide the recreational pleasure of a moderately challenging crossword puzzle, have become genuinely pickproof.
Meanwhile, internet booksellers have muscled your legit enterprise into obsolescence. The new breed of customers browse your bookshop, find what they're looking for, then whip out their phones and order their books online.
Wonderful. You had two ways to make a living, and neither of them works anymore.
But suppose you keep on supposing, okay?
Suppose you wake up one morning in a world just like the one in which you fell asleep-but with a couple of differences.
The first one you notice doesn't amount to much. The Metrocard in your wallet has somehow changed color and morphed into what seems to be called a SubwayCard. That's puzzling, but you swipe it at the turnstile same as always, and it gets you on the subway, so what difference does it make?
But that's not the only thing that's changed. The Internet's up and running, as robust as ever, but nobody seems to be using it to sell books. Doors are secured not with pickproof electronic gizmos but with good old reliable Rabson locks, the kind you can open with your eyes closed. And what happened to all those security cameras? Where'd they go?
All of a sudden you've got your life back, and your bookshop's packed with eager customers, and how are you gonna find time to steal something?
Well, just suppose one of the world's worst human beings has recently acquired one of the world's most glamorous gems. When the legendary Kloppmann Diamond is up for grabs, what can you possibly do but grab it?
And what could possibly go wrong?
Author
Lawrence Block
Author · 166 books
Lawrence Block has been writing crime, mystery, and suspense fiction for more than half a century. He has published in excess (oh, wretched excess!) of 100 books, and no end of short stories. Born in Buffalo, N.Y., LB attended Antioch College, but left before completing his studies; school authorities advised him that they felt he’d be happier elsewhere, and he thought this was remarkably perceptive of them. His earliest work, published pseudonymously in the late 1950s, was mostly in the field of midcentury erotica, an apprenticeship he shared with Donald E. Westlake and Robert Silverberg. The first time Lawrence Block’s name appeared in print was when his short story “You Can’t Lose” was published in the February 1958 issue of Manhunt. The first book published under his own name was Mona (1961); it was reissued several times over the years, once as Sweet Slow Death. In 2005 it became the first offering from Hard Case Crime, and bore for the first time LB’s original title, Grifter’s Game. LB is best known for his series characters, including cop-turned-private investigator Matthew Scudder, gentleman burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr, globe-trotting insomniac Evan Tanner, and introspective assassin Keller. Because one name is never enough, LB has also published under pseudonyms including Jill Emerson, John Warren Wells, Lesley Evans, and Anne Campbell Clarke. LB’s magazine appearances include American Heritage, Redbook, Playboy, Linn’s Stamp News, Cosmopolitan, GQ, and The New York Times. His monthly instructional column ran in Writer’s Digest for 14 years, and led to a string of books for writers, including the classics Telling Lies for Fun & Profit and The Liar’s Bible. He has also written episodic television (Tilt!) and the Wong Kar-wai film, My Blueberry Nights. Several of LB’s books have been filmed. The latest, A Walk Among the Tombstones, stars Liam Neeson as Matthew Scudder and is scheduled for release in September, 2014. LB is a Grand Master of Mystery Writers of America, and a past president of MWA and the Private Eye Writers of America. He has won the Edgar and Shamus awards four times each, and the Japanese Maltese Falcon award twice, as well as the Nero Wolfe and Philip Marlowe awards, a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Private Eye Writers of America, and the Diamond Dagger for Life Achievement from the Crime Writers Association (UK). He’s also been honored with the Gumshoe Lifetime Achievement Award from Mystery Ink magazine and the Edward D. Hoch Memorial Golden Derringer for Lifetime Achievement in the short story. In France, he has been proclaimed a Grand Maitre du Roman Noir and has twice been awarded the Societe 813 trophy. He has been a guest of honor at Bouchercon and at book fairs and mystery festivals in France, Germany, Australia, Italy, New Zealand, Spain and Taiwan. As if that were not enough, he was also presented with the key to the city of Muncie, Indiana. (But as soon as he left, they changed the locks.) LB and his wife Lynne are enthusiastic New Yorkers and relentless world travelers; the two are members of the Travelers Century Club, and have visited around 160 countries. He is a modest and humble fellow, although you would never guess as much from this biographical note.
