It was the highest honor to defend the Empire against the dreaded Chingers, an enemy race of seven-foot-tall lizards. But Bill, a Technical Fertilizer Operator from a planet of farmers, wasn't interested in honor-he was only interested in two things: his chosen career, and the shapely curves of Inga-Maria Calyphigia. Then a recruiting robot shanghaied him with knockout drops, and he came to in deep space, aboard the Empire warship Christine Keeler. And from there, things got even worse.

Bill would give his right arm to defend his Emperor against the alien Chingers - which is lucky seeing as he has two of them... War demands sacrifices, and if you've lost one left arm, have an artificial foot and a set of nifty surgically-implanted tusks, it's a small price to pay for the privilege of being a hero. And Bill knows all about heroism - as part of a motley crew his new task is to track down the source of Chinger-controlled metal dragons that are making mincemeat out of humans...

Bill should know that you never complain in the Troopers. But when his new foot looks like turning into something green, scaly and abundantly clawed, a visit to the medics would seem to be reasonable. But before he can say 'Quintiform computer error' he seems to have got himself volunteered again, this time for a suicide mission on Tsuris - the planet nobody ever comes back from. A number, exactly a billion in fact, of Tsurisians have no body at all to speak of, and reside in bottles, which as Bill remarks, is an awful lot of bottles. And Bill is going to need all the bottle he possesses to get himself out of this one... If you want to bravely probe where no one has ever probed before, then join Bill, Splock and Captain Dirk as once again our Galactic Hero investigates new depths in the realms of the science fiction cliche.

He's the perfect Spaceship Trooper: big, strong and completely brainwashed. He's the perfect hero: willing to do almost anything to save his own neck (perhaps one of the only body parts that's still his own).Bill is in the hospital, vainly hoping for a real foot to replace the satyr's foot he's been lumbered with. Not that he has anything against satyrs - at least not until one grabs him by the foot and pulls him under the ocean into a world of unspeakable and endless pleasures! Roaming this dimension of primordial desires, Bill faces dragons and gunslingers for the sake of true love - and a really good beer!

When Bill is assigned as an MP on a prison ship, the crew revolts against the captain and brings vampires on board in an attempt to maroon the skipper

aka The Planet of the Hippies from Hell Bill is the perfect starship big, strong and completely brainwashed. He'll also do almost anything to save his neck. Now he's been sent to Barworld, home planet of the finest beverages in the universe. But can Bill survive an entire planet of blondes, booze and bathtubs of champagne?

Bill has been recruited by Captain Kadaffi - better known as Captain Cadaver - for a suicide mission on the planet Eyerack. Bill has orders to die trying - but trying what, he doesn't know. Will he lead the mission? Will he survive the bombs, blondes and booze? Will he ever find a foot?