The words that you are reading here replace a cockamamie publisher's blurb that appeared on the original printing of this tome. It's an acknowledged bit of wisdom that authors all learn at one time or another: Don't let your publisher write the promotional material. Words like "countless millions," "knee-slapping hilarious," and "cult following" are found peppering one's sacred book jacket like pigeon droppings on a statue of the Virgin Mary...which naturally is how I think of my work. The truth is that the only "cult following" my comic strip had when this book appeared consisted of my mother. Bless her heart, she still reads it daily. She'll hand the funny page to me, point to it, scrunch her eyes together and say, "Honey, what were you trying to say here?" If opus spits watermelon seeds at Milo, she'll say to me, "So this is a sort of comment on the watermelon industry?" So you see, to my publisher and to my mother, I remain a victim of unrealistic expectations. In the meantime, please accept my apologies for the way Opus is drawn within this volume. I had no experience drawing birds in 1982 and you will notice that his beak tends to randomly shrink or expand. To this day, my mother thinks it symbolically represented the changing fortunes of my bachelor love life. Maybe it did, Mom, and maybe it didn't. Berke Breathed August 1987