Moving sounded like a dream come true. New house, new job, new me, right? Not quite. For one, I can’t totally reinvent myself with a kid in tow, so hair dye will have to do. Second, this new adventure brought Knox. You know, the neighborhood jerk and all-around A-hole, Knox Brighton? Or as my son calls him: the circle jerk. Hey, I laughed, too. Obviously, I’m winning at this parenting thing. Anyway, Knox always creeps up at the worst times and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Until one day, he didn’t. He put his tongue there instead. With that kiss came an offer I couldn't refuse. One that took "faking it" to a new level. Let's hope this fake relationship doesn't lead to any real feelings.