David Boyne has failed at everything he has tried. Including parenting, marriage, college, gainful employment, algebra, buying low and selling high, mixing red wine with tequila, riding a bicycle across America, and staying perpendicularly tangential to the gutter. At one time he considered becoming a better person but when told identity theft was illegal he abandoned the idea. When not writing about his failures he boldly stares into Space, schemes for Total World Domination, and often exposes himself in public at DavidBoyne.com. Essays by David Boyne available in paper: I Could Be Wrong, But... ISBN-10: 0615572057 ISBN-13: 978-0615572055 —- Essays by David Boyne, available in electrons (Kindle ebooks): Happy Accidents, Volume One Offbeat Essays Exploring the Irony in the Ordinary Happy Accidents, Volume Two Inside My Three Pound Universe Happy Accidents, Volume Three X Marks the Spot: We're All Going to Die! So What's for Lunch? Happy Accidents, Volume Four Resistance Is Futile Happy Accidents, Volume Five You Must Be Present To Win What's Love Got to Do with It? How a Conversation with Ray Bradbury Changed My Life Lessons From Jack A Handful of Scenes, Light and Dark, from a Young Boy's Life The Confession Booth (fiction)