Die Empty
By Kirk Jones
2017
First Published
4.21
Average Rating
179
Number of Pages
middle age (mid′l-āj) n. 1. Spending one year’s disposable income on vinyl figures, only to realize a complete He-Man collection isn’t going to make your current life any better. Beast Man and Cyclops don’t give a fuck about you or your failing marriage. 2. Resolving to die empty and alone. 3. Death showing up at your office door in need of a vacation. 4. Designing goods for Death that inspire consumer-driven fatalities—faulty steering mechanisms, toxic dishwasher detergent inserts that look like jumbo fruit snacks—anything that will help tip people over the edge before Death has to pursue them. 5. Waking to find your house chock-full of the merchandise you created, merchandise designed to kill. Now everything from pouring your cereal to activating your car’s cigarette lighter has become a death trap. Yet as your world falls apart, no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to fucking die.
Avg Rating
4.21
Number of Ratings
58
5 STARS
50%
4 STARS
28%
3 STARS
16%
2 STARS
7%
1 STARS
0%
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Author
Kirk Jones
Author · 6 books
Kirk Jones (k3rk Dʒoʊnz): 1. English Director of Nanny McPhee 2. "Sticky Fingaz," rap artist and actor who played Blade for the television series 3. Canadian who survived a dive over Niagara Falls . . . only to return and pass upon his second attempt. 4. Boring white author of Uncle Sam's Carnival of Copulating Inanimals (Eraserhead Press, 2010), Journey to Abortosphere (Rooster Republic, 2014), and Die Empty (Atlatl, 2017) who often gets mistaken for the other, arguably more notable, Kirk Jones fellows. 5. Also not Kirk Byron Jones.
