Ebenezer Hellwig is an unprofessional degenerate (meaning he doesn't get paid to be one). An avid connoisseur of vulgarity, disco music and illegal substances, he is known to produce tales so warped and disturbing in nature that several hexes have been put on him by voodoo practitioners across the globe. Priding himself on his unwavering convictions and complete disregard for other's emotional well-being, Ebenezer is most certainly certifiable. There is, however, no denying that he's got sexy forehead abs and a penchant for astoundingly bizarre stories.