I’m Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Welcome to my nightmare… Think it’s easy being a glamour ghoul? Think again. My love life is so dead, I have to dig up my dates with a shovel. My bad hair days would make a werewolf eat a silver bullet. And my neighbors, well… my neighbors suck blood! You see, these weirdos just moved in next door, and their taste in furniture is early Mausoleum—I’m talking caskets here. Their servant is a total Igor. They only come out at night. And they seem to prefer a liquid diet, if you know what I mean. There goes the neighborhood! I like vampires as much as the next ghoul. But when they start chomping on my friends, look out. The new creeps on the block are about to receive a little visit—from Elvira’s unwelcome wagon… Rest in pieces, Elvira.