"We are professionals. Though not specifically professionals in the field of 'psychology' or 'psychiatry,' we are both highly paid actors and comedians, and as such know more about neuroses than you could possibly imagine..." If you're tired of following the rules, dating people from Mars and Venus, gorging on chicken soup for your soul, or getting lost on a road less traveled, then it's time you listened to Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo, two people who actually sweat the small stuff . . . because, let's face it, if your body doesn't sweat, it dies—much like Ben and Janeane's train wreck of a relationship many years ago. From that experience came wisdom and self-reproachment. Now, in Feel This Book, they tackle the tough

• Is love necessary?
• How can I make money off my spouse?
• Compassion—is it overrated?
• Why can't I sleep around and still love you?
• How many times have you told your significant other that you would pick up something for dinner on your way home from the office, and next thing you knew you're at an all-night eatery with some hermaphrodite you found on the strip, having eggs and bacon at three in the morning? Through helpful tips, completely fabricated case studies, the six laws of spiritual success, the fourteen by-laws of spiritual awakening, and the twenty-three addendums and sub-laws regarding anything spiritual and successful, Stiller and Garofalo teach such valuable lessons
• When it comes to family, grasp onto the blame and don't let go
• Make the connection . . . between Deepak and Tupac
• Your mother lied; looks are everything, and the sooner you submit and stop denying the inevitable, the happier you will be
• And much more! Feel This Book. Let it be your path, your compass, your sensible shoes, your Frappuccino®. It's what self-help was meant to be. From the Hardcover edition.