Fool Me Once - Shame on You. Fool Me twice - Shame on me. Eli Van Horn has been my best friend since I was in pigtails and Mary Janes. He’s the peanut butter to my jelly, the meat balls to my spaghetti, and the whipped cream on top of my hot fudge sundae. He’s also 100% gay. I’m sure of it. He has better fashion sense than me, had a poster of Justin Timberlake on his wall when we were teens, and lord, can that boy shop. The only problem, he’s never actually come out to me. That’s weird, right? Weirder still, he’s back in town and he swears he is not, never has been and never will be one to bat for the other team. And his sights are set on me. Is this all some elaborate prank to fool me into finding love with someone else, or could my gusband actually become my husband?