Ass, good. Sass, great. Class, a must. Three things I look for in the perfect woman. I know, I know, beggars can't be choosers. But one can dream. Unfortunately, even if I did meet the right woman, I'd have nothing to offer her. No money, no status, not even a proper roof over my head. All I've got is notoriety. A shit ton of it. But chicks don't exactly drool over damaged bad boys. Not the sane ones anyway. Fact is, I'm broke, and I'm broken. I have pennies to my name and no prospects. So how the hell am I supposed to turn my life around? Then I meet her. Rachelle Wu. Within seconds, I'm hooked. Within minutes, I'm hypnotized. Within days, I'm hungover and hung up about her. You see, she's getting married in less than a week. And I can't do anything about it. Or can I?