I work for Lucifer. Only, it’s not as cool and satanic as it sounds. The truth is, I’m an admin assistant who applied for a job that sounded kind of interesting and ended up working for the Community of Species Government. I’m the only human in the office, and basically I ride herd on a team of rambunctious shifters and demons. I also spend a lot of time avoiding Gideon Bailey, the demon I had a one-night stand with right before I took this job. He hates me, and I really want to avoid being murdered. But I’ve been offered a promotion that will mean working with him, so we’re both going to have to get over it. Plus, people are going missing. Pregnant people. And the word is that someone is dabbling in genetic experimentation. Putting a stop to that is more important than the sexual tension Gideon and I have been ignoring… isn’t it?

I’m just an ordinary guy… who feeds on sexual energy. I never knew my dad. Mom said he was a nice enough guy, fun for a night, but she never did get his name. I didn’t miss him, and my life is good. Then a government agent shows up at my door and announces that I’m not really human. Dear old Dad was actually an incubus, a being that needs sexual energy to survive, and apparently that means I am too. Gotta be a scam, right? Or so I think… until Agent Cutie changes into a canine (not a werewolf) in my living room and then eats half a dozen Christmas cookies while making orgasm sounds. Turns out, other species do exist. On the plus side, being a stripper means that all my incubus needs are being met without me even trying. And now that I know the situation in my pants is normal for an incubus, I don’t feel self-conscious… so a fling with Agent Mark is definitely on the table. Between being sexy Santa at work, supplying a team of hellhounds with Christmas cookies, and learning what stamina in the bedroom really is, I’m discovering that my old life was kind of empty. Maybe I’m not such an ordinary guy after all. This novella was previously available free to newsletter subscribers. Only the cover has changed.

Getting kidnapped was never part of my life plan. But being rescued opened up a whole world of crazy. It’s not easy being the only human at the Community of Species Government—and especially not when you’re the rescue case. Two years ago, I was planning to go to college, have a wild time, then settle into a normal life. Instead, I was kidnapped, spent months being a test subject, was in hiding for nearly a year, and then found out that my whole existence is a science experiment conducted by the bad guys. It’s definitely time to reassess. My rescuers at CSG have been awesome… mostly. They gave me a job, a home, and a support network. But the whole demons, vampires, shifters thing is not easy to get used to. Especially when one particular vampire makes me want to take up stake sharpening for a hobby. How can someone be over eight centuries old and have the maturity of a drunk frat boy? The thing is, teenage mentality or not, Andrew is a fierce protector. With the bad guys still on the loose, I need someone like that on my side. Plus, did I mention that he’s not hard to look at? I could stare at him all day if only he never opened his mouth. As we race to find my former captor before he can find me, life takes another twist and upends my world all over again. This time, though, I’m ready—after all, I’ve got an eight-hundred-year-old vampire at my back. What could possibly go wrong?

I’m a one-and-done kind of hellhound… I don’t catch feeeeeeeelings… Once upon a time, my first and last relationship taught me that romantic love isn’t enough to stop your boyfriend from trying to kill you. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. My awesomeness is now strictly reserved for one-nighters and casual hookups. Sure, my friends seem to be matching up in romantic bliss, but screw that—I’m not interested. Besides, things are heating up at the Community of Species Government, and I’m right in the thick of it all. Those bad guys are going down—and not in the good way. They might seem to have the drop on us right now, but we’re going to turn the tables on them. Even if it means going on a mission with Aidan Byrne. I’m still not happy about the way Aidan handled things with my bestest bestie a few months back, even if he did turn out to be right. Plus, there’s something about him that rubs my fur in the wrong direction. He’s the kind of guy who thinks karaoke is only for college kids and looks down on me for licking my own balls. He also thinks that just because he’s the species leader, he’s in charge. Too bad for him, I’ve never backed away from a challenge… even if it is unnervingly sexy and really bendy. A hookup won’t lead to feelings… right?

Just because I enjoy planning and researching doesn’t mean I’m not the most dangerous badass mothercracker around. The world sees me as boring, dependable David. And I like it that way. I know things and I’m organized. Plus, I’ve seen firsthand the harm a chaotic life can inflict, and I’d rather have my lists and be called dull. Which is what makes it all the more disconcerting when a sexy elf declares his adoration and begins to “woo” me. What am I supposed to do? Hide, mostly. It’s hard, though, because Caolan and I are supposed to be working together. And he’s tough to resist: sweet, competent, and so incredibly beautiful. He sees something in me that no one else does. Would it really be such a bad thing if I gave in to temptation? My personal life can’t be the priority right now, though. The bad guys are gearing up to strike, and if we don’t stop them, the end of the world could be nigh. I need to focus on that, not on letting Caolan show me the benefits of spontaneity. Or do I?