Suffering a typical 9-5 existence, Jared's foray into lunch-hour Spanish shook up his mundane life. He quit his job, stopped by briefly to school, and then left his country...for 14 years. Early stumblings in real-world Spanish taught him that a cola isn't just a soft drink, bicho doesn't always mean a bug, and boludo may be heartfelt or middle-finger felt. Nine countries, three startups, two bestsellers and a Puerto Rican wife later, he is still confounded by how many Spanish words exist for "panties." His quest is to discover all those words. In between, he meanders, dabbles in languages, drinks wine and sells shampoo.