A Conversation with Kathy Bertone, author of THE ART OF THE VISIT Q: What motivated you to write the book and why is it needed? KB: We had three homes at once in some interesting places, and were always having friends and family coming to visit for weekends or over holidays. Some of those visits went really well, and some went really badly. I kept notes of what made the good ones good, and the bad ones bad – from both a host and a guest perspective. Then I started talking to other people and heard all the stories and listened to all the complaints. There were so many common issues that I decided a book on how to have really successful, stress-free visits was needed. It’s needed because the times that we spend with the people we love the most – our family and close friends – should be the very best times possible. We owe that to ourselves and each other. But there was no guide on how to do that. Now there is. The book is divided into two sections: one for the host and one for the guest. Q: You say there are “Seven Simple Steps” to good visiting and hosting. What are a few? KB: Here are two easy ones: As host, (1) plan in advance events and activities that you think your guests will enjoy and let your guests know ahead of time what to expect; (2) ask the right questions of your guests before they arrive so you can avoid running around in a worried frenzy in the hours just before the visit – if you ask the right questions you will make sure to have what you need in terms of food and drink (who knew that your sister in law turned vegan!) For guests, (1) I talk about why you should make your needs (your reasonable needs) known in advance (by email, preferably); (2) Help out. Visiting is not a vacation for you (no matter what your host may say!). I offer ways a guest can contribute while not taking over. Q: It seems that the host does the vast majority of the cooking and cleaning when they have guests for the weekend or longer. What tips do you have for alleviating some of that burden? KB: This is an important issue because it is one of the first things to cause stress and strife over an extended stay. No one person should be relegated to cooking and cleaning the entire visit. I offer lots of strategies and here is one: If the visit is for a week during summer vacation, or longer than a few days, the host should make a cooking itinerary. This can be fun for everyone because you can arrange it so the teenagers have to cook one meal! I have ideas on planning meals that will make the host actually enjoy the guests and be able to participate in the fun stuff instead of being stuck in the kitchen. I also show how to organize before the visit, and stay organized during the visit, so there is far less of a burden for the host and more fun time for everyone. Q. Although you dedicate almost a whole chapter to setting up the proper guest bedrooms and bathrooms, some people don’t have dedicated rooms just for guests. Do you talk about how to entertain weekend guests in a one bedroom apartment, for example? KB: In the hosting portion of the book, I have a section called Small Space Solutions where I talk about how to make a living room with just a sofa not just a welcoming place for your guests, but an efficient space as well. Both are extremely important unless you want your apartment to look like a poorly run kindergarten room – on only the first night of the visit! People can have fabulous weekend long (or longer) visits without guestrooms. It’s all in the pre-planning and organizing the space before your guests arrive. Please visit Kathy's website to learn more about her. This summer she is traveling around doing some television interview segments, visiting friends and family and working on her second book. Yes, all at the same time..