Between Now And Forever
2015
“Mr. Zamora?” a nurse asked.
Dad pushed me forward.
“Yes?” I said, wetting my parched lips.
“Mr. Zamora, hinahanap po kayo ng asawa ninyo, Sir.” She smiled.
I nearly sighed with relief. Finally, hinanap din ako. Hindi na ako isang walang-silbing maghihintay na lang sa labas ng delivery room, I thought, relieved and worried at the same time. I followed the nurse towards the delivery room as she opened the first door.
“Pakisuot po.” She handed me a flimsy-looking lab coat, a hair net and a mask. “Pakitapat po ’yung kamay ninyo sa nozzle,” she directed before pressing a small plastic button.
I felt the cold, slimy texture of the alcogel and I quickly applied it to my hands.
“Dito po,” she said as she pushed a second door open.
“Where the hell is my husband?!” I heard Irina scream and I nearly tripped in my haste to reach her. “John…” she cried out as soon as she saw me.
“Masakit?” I asked and she nodded. “Kaya mo ’yan, Kitten.”
“Kitten mo mukha mo!” she yelled. “Last na ’to! Ayoko na!”
I winced inwardly. “You’re doing great,” I said as I tried to smile, remembering what the coach told me in one of our pre-birthing classes. “Inhale, exhale.” I watched tears race down her face. Si Irina ang pinakamatapang na taong nakilala ko and she must be under a lot of pain if she was screaming her lungs out.
“Irina, you have to push harder this time,” one of the doctors said.
“Do not tell me to push harder because I am pushing the hardest push I can!” Irina snapped.
“Relax and let’s try again. Habang nagtatagal kasi ang labor, nagiging mas stressful sa mga babies.”
I felt a crushing pain as Irina gripped my hand. I was trembling so bad. And when she started screaming, I actually gripped the side of the bed for support. Hirap na hirap akong makita siyang umiiyak at sumisigaw dahil sa sakit at ang nakakainis, wala man lang akong magawa.
“That’s it. Kaunti na lang,” I heard the doctor say.
I was bathed in cold sweat. I did not even realize it but I was breathing through my mouth, imitating my wife.
“You can do this, Kitten,” I whispered as she screamed, sending hundreds of daggers straight into my heart. Tangna, papakapon na ako, I thought as she closed her eyes to get ready for another push. I silently recited a disjointed assortment of prayers and promises as I helplessly watched her in pain.
I made worthless pledges, like promising that a glass of warm milk would always await her everyday when she’d eat breakfast, to really poignant ones like loving her forever and showing her just how much I loved every second of it.
Kung alam ko lang na ganito ’to kasakit para sa kanya, I would have avoided getting her pregnant like the plague.
The doctor had offered painless birthing but Irina wanted to go through normal delivery. Sabi niya gusto niya raw ma-experience iyong naramdaman ng karamihan ng mga mommies while giving birth.
I was torn between pride and agony. Ang tigas kasi ng ulo nitong asawa ko.
“That’s one great push, Irina,” the doctor encouraged.
“Kaunti na lang, Kitten,” I said.
“One more push in three,” the doctor said. “One… two… push!” she commanded.
I felt like my bones were being crushed as Irina’s grip on my hand intensified. My eyes widened when I saw the head of the baby come out.
“Very good, kaunti na lang,” the doctor calmly stated as she methodically suctioned my child’s nose and mouth. “One more push.” She slowly pulled the baby out of Irina.
I felt like fainting as I watched the baby emerge. Hindi ko alam kung dahil sa kaba o dahil sa tuwa. I did not even realize that I took a step back until Irina called my name.
“John!” she yelled. “Don’t you dare faint on me. Sisipain talaga kita!”
A few seconds later, I heard the baby cry and I felt my eyes water. I averted my gaze as I hastily wiped my eyes with the back of my free hand.
“It’s a girl,” the doctor said as she put the baby on top of Irina’s womb and dried her up.
I gazed at my daughter for the first time and my heart just swelled with pride. They covered her with a warm blanket and put a cap on her head before the doctor clamped the umbilical cord in two places.
“Wait for a few minutes before you cut the cord,” Irina mumbled weakly as I leaned forward to wipe her forehead with a large swab that one of the nurses handed to me.
We read over the Internet that delaying the cutting of the umbilical cord was good for the baby and I was surprised that despite the pain she must be feeling ay naalala pa rin niya iyon.
A nurse stepped forward to take my daughter off my wife’s abdomen and Irina frowned as she tried to sit up.
“Saan mo dadalhin ang anak ko?” she demanded, her voice firm.
“Irina, for the 5-minute Apgar score,” the doctor answered for her. “Don’t worry. Nothing bad will happen to your baby. D’yan lang natin siya sa tabi ichi-check. You can actually see her from here.”
Irina nodded and slumped back into the bed.
“You’re doing great,” I said. “I am extremely proud of you.”
She gave me a weak smil...
