In a future where horses are revered as gifts of the gods, and sheep and hounds are the beasts of burden, ancient magicks have been rediscovered. But there are those who wish to uncover the technology of the past and take control of the world for their own evil ends. Now, more than ever, the world needs a hero. In the tiny hamlet of Ooze, a hapless, fish-faced, flaky-skinned youth named Pike is about to commence a quest: to win the heart of the fair maiden at the Pit of Zidor, and to release Moorlock the Warlock from the captivity of his mortal enemy. Accompanied by a garrulous sparrow and a belligerent horse, Pike is captured and then employed by the lisping Lord Nairey du Well in his sheep-drawn carriage, and then pursued by the deadly huntress, Scarlet Deadnight - du Well’s partner in tyranny. Pike soon discovers:

• that fair maidens are not always female,
• that they can prove to be deadly foes, and
• the true value of a good moisturiser!