My best blatherings from The Scrivener’s Fancy are collected in a new ebook. Scarcely Relevant tries to answer these questions … Why did it take nine people to arrest me for fare evasion? Who is the world’s most up-himself novelist? Why was I accused of embezzling money from a soap opera star? What is the best piece of music to listen to in the car wash? Can a new chocolate bar really be called a ‘game-changer’? How did I break two ribs without realising? Why is Alvin Rides Again Australia’s most disturbing movie? Is it polite to mention someone’s new voice, post sex-change? Just how many Andre Rieu DVDs are there? How many times can you be mistaken for Andrew Denton in a week? all this, plus … The Dark Knight in Run For Your Wife Hope & Crosby in Cormac McCarthy’s The Road Anna Wintour edits Picture magazine The future of cat videos and my salutes to … Laserdiscs, The Shining, (Bud) Tingwell, 3D, Withnail and I, Bill Hunter, DVD extras, Franklyn Ajaye and Stewart Lee, gentleman heroin dealers, William Castle and swearing.