A SEX COMEDY FOR COMICS Suzie's a normal girl with an extraordinary ability: when she has sex, she stops time. One night she meets John... who has the same gift. And so they do what any other sex-having, time-stopping, couple would do: they rob banks. In the vein of THE 40-YEAR OLD VIRGIN and BRIDESMAIDS, Image Comics invites you to come along with MATT FRACTION (Hawkeye, SATELLITE SAM) and CHIP ZDARSKY (Prison Funnies, Monster Cops) for the series that puts the "comic" back in “comics” and the "sexy" back in “sex crimes.”

So who's the boy with the same sexy-time time-stopping gifts as Suzie? Meet John, who until last night thought he could freeze time with his junk. At long last not alone, what kind of horny hijinx will he and Suzie get up to together? What ANY of us would do if having sex stopped the whole world: We'd do crimes.

How did these two end up in that bank, with those guns? Because they seemed like such nice kids, right? Well, THE SEX POLICE have the same questions and descend on Susie and Jon. And we get the rest of Jon's gory story � if you read ONE weird sex and time comedy comic this year, make sure it's "My Sexual Errors 1998 � Present!"

She can seemingly control time and space with her...parts. She's as relentless a manhunter as law enforcement ever created. And by day she's no one you'd particularly notice, with her quiet suburban life and pleasant-enough job, but when the temporal dimension is used to break society's laws they call...HER. Jon and Suzie get in too deep way too fast as one little sexy fun party crime begets another and the villains of the piece descend. Turns out Jon and Suzie aren't the only ones after all…

The best part of a new relationship is the first three weeks, right? The rush of the new, the gravitational pull of the sudden other-ness in your life, the almost-illicit charge of nothing else mattering...and then it's time to pay the bills. Well, the honeymoon is over for the SEX CRIMINALS. Can Jon and Suzie survive Jon and Suzie?

After their narrow getaway from the Sex Police, Jon and Suzie are learning that this is “just the tip” of a massive iceberg. And what happens after the rush of a new relationship fades? Are they in love, lust, like, or just lame? Sexy fun times returns: We missed you so much, brimpers.

Jon breaks into Kegelface’s house and oh my golly what on EARTH do you think he finds there. Not only are our beloved Sex Criminals not alone...they’re not unwatched, either. And Suzie learns once and for all the fate of her precious library.

Jon and Suzie have had to deal with a whole lot in their time together but nothing can prepare them for...Robert Rainbow. Actually he's a pretty cool guy. And that's the problem.

Suze and Jon meet Ana. Or rather, meet Ana AGAIN. Or should we say, meet...Ms. Jazmine St. Cocaine AGAIN. Did we just put those words in that order in PREVIEWS? Yes. Yes we did. By MATT FRACTION (SEX CRIMINALS) and CHONNY ZDARKO (SEX CRIMINALS).

In which Jon and Suzie learn just how alone together we all are, and the stakes get raised crazy-high in this, the second arc finale. By MATT FRACTION (CASANOVA, ODYC, SATELLITE SAM) and just a great big bunch of C.H.U.D.s with photoshop or something.