What if Deadpool and the Punisher had a baby... Well... Hi. I'm Joseph Labrador Hunter—no, that’s not my real middle name, but, yes, I think it sounds pretty badass. This story isn’t for the feint of heart. It’s not for the sensitive. I know what you’re thinking, reader. You have handled the daring Harry Dresden, the foul-mouthed Nate Temple, the pulpy violence of James Stark. Well… let me tell you something right now… You’re dead wrong if you think you can handle Joseph Labrador Hunter. I’m more of the third, forgotten Winchester brother. In the words of my old pal, Lemony Snicket, “If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book.” He’s not really a pal of mine, more a hero, but the sentiment rings true. My story isn’t one of happiness. It has a sad beginning… In the middle, there’s a lot of violent, sad things that happen… And the end, well, that’s the saddest part. I’m not a hero. I’m not a wizard. I’m not Superman with a wand. If you’re looking for light-hearted fun, go sniff up someone else’s magical staff. I’m a nightmare to my best friends, and a death wish to my worst enemies. And I’m also very melodramatic, and I will sometimes break into a running commentary with my reader… because, it’s the only time anyone will ever listen to me! Grab your favorite drink. You’ll need it if you ever want to forget this story.