Nick North hates high school. Awkward and friendless, Nick spends his evenings playing medieval computer games and taking his pet cat to restaurants. When a mysterious, black-sailed pirate ship crash lands next to his apartment building, Nick quickly discovers there are worse things than having no social life. Like getting shanghaied by plucky alien princesses. Or falling in love with quietly troubled first mates. But hey, what are the odds that Nick's childhood illness is the key to the treasure his new nuisances are avidly looking for? Or that their presence on his planet might literally mean the end of the observable world?

Things Nick North is supposed to be: A space pirate. An awkward teenager on the verge of adulthood, newly navigating the maze of gender and sexuality. Things Nick North is not supposed to be: A psychotherapist. Escort to a pair of alien princesses. Owner of an amusement park. Captain of the entire ship. The Suddenly Space Pirates have an unwanted stowaway in the form of Raul Ales de Foc, genocidal destroyer of universes. How the crew reacts in his time of need will ultimately test their character—and their Patience. The question remains: Can Nick steal three new pieces of treasure and still find time to hand in his summer homework?

From trust exercises to group counseling to midnight snack runs at the supermarket, the S.S. Suddenly is starting to resemble a summer camp. Nick North would much rather be a boring old space pirate than a guidance counselor. When a member of the Suddenly Space Pirates is kidnapped by the Koryo Kingdom, Nick must come to terms with the fact that a second crew member has been lying about his or her identity. Combined with a revolving door of suspicious stowaways, Nick begins to wonder: Is he a member of a pirate crew, or a rescue service? What does any of this have to do with the Singularity? And just how many rubber ducks can one pirate ship hold?