From the number-one bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes TAKE FIVE, a mini collection of true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention—stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places. TAKE FIVE includes the following four favorite previously-published essays plus one brand-new, never-been-published essay by Augusten—MINT THRESHOLD—UNCLEAR SAILING—COMMERICAL BREAK—DEBBIE'S REQUIREMENTS—SWAN SONG (new!)