It’s Whizzfiddle’s 650th birthday and he is offered the opportunity to do one of the mysterious Fate Quests. If he succeeds he’ll end up with a bag of diamonds … or will he? This is the short-story introduction to the "Tales from the land of Ononokin" series. It can only be obtained by signing up to the author's mailing list at www.johnplogsdon.com.

Why does questing have to be so persnickety? Xebdigon Whizzfiddle is a wizard who has to find a quest, get it contracted, and finish it to the letter within 30 days or he'll lose his guild membership status, meaning he'll have to actually work for a living. At the perpetual age of 650, this is really no longer an option. After interviewing countless people who are looking for a wizard to quest with, Whizzfiddle all but gives up. But then one last questing party arrives, and they're the oddest bunch he's seen in a long time—and being a wizard in the land of Ononokin, that's saying something! They have to traverse the portals from the Upperworld to the Underworld; deal with Trolls, Ogres, Gorgans, Orcs, and worst of all...Humans; survive the land of professional salespeople; go through the afterlife; and fight to avoid Whizzfiddle's disgruntled past-apprentice's attempts to thwart them at every turn. Going through all of this makes Whizzfiddle wonder if maybe he shouldn't just give up magic and go back to his roots of being a farmer. The land of Ononokin gets its influence as a hodgepodge from Monty Python, National Lampoon, Family Guy, Terry Pratchett, Piers Anthony, Douglas Adams, Harry Harrison, and countless other comedic mediums. Readers will find a new, fun, comedic fantasy world to play in. Wizards, magic, Dwarfs, Orcs, Ogres, Trolls, Gnomes, Halflings, Vampires, Zombies, Dragons, Gorgans, and more fill the vastness of Ononokin.

Who says that Vampires and Werewolves can't get along? Paulie Vergen is a Vampire living the daily grind of life until a fateful day when a newly infected Werewolf landed on his doorstep. All Paulie wanted was peace and quiet, but life didn't often seem to care about his plans. He's now faced with helping the poor Werewolf navigate through the Underworld in order to find the help that he needs. Unfortunately, there was much more to this journey than they'd anticipated. The Gnomes are at war, the portal system is erratic at best, the Werewolves are less than cooperative, riding in an Ogre-run trolley isn't as fun as it sounds, and somebody has hired an assassin to make sure that they never reach their destination at all! Paulie comes to find that the quiet life is not all it's cracked up to be, but he also learns that his hatred for Werewolves has been based solely on propaganda. It seems that Vampires and Werewolves can be friends after all. "Overall, an entertaining read with great skills ... fantastic voice! Really enjoyed it." -Judge, 22nd Annual Writer's Digest Self-Published Book Awards. The land of Ononokin gets its influence as a hodgepodge from Monty Python, National Lampoon, Family Guy, Terry Pratchett, Discworld, Robert Asprin, Myth Adventures, Piers Anthony, Xanth, Douglas Adams, Harry Harrison, and countless other comedic mediums. Readers will find a new, fun, comedic fantasy world to play in. Wizards, magic, Dwarfs, Orcs, Ogres, Trolls, Gnomes, Halflings, Vampires, Zombies, Dragons, Gorgans, and more fill the vastness of Ononokin.

Being a Zombie stinks. Bob is a Zombie who was just going about his business when a band of thieves stole his hand so that they could make a batch of Elfagra in the Upperworld. While it's bad enough that they've stolen Bob's hand for such a purpose, it comes to the Zombie's attention that if the bad guys use the wrong technique it could cause a cosmic rift that will spell the real death of Bob...not just the long, drawn out one that's part of being a Zombie. Modacio is a thief who made an enormous mistake on her last job that resulted in the Thieves Guild putting a high price on her head. Working with her partner in crime, and Ogre (one of the nice kinds) named Kone, she sets in place a plan to deliver a gift to the head of the Thieves Guild in exchange for having the bounty taken off her head. Unfortunately, this means she has to swipe the hand of a defenseless Zombie. But better his hand than her life! Bob turns to his only real friend, a Dwarf named Perkder, and asks for help in getting his hand back. The two slap on disguises and begin a journey to the Upperworld in an attempt to stop the thieves before it's too late. The land of Ononokin gets its influence as a hodgepodge from Monty Python, National Lampoon, Family Guy, Terry Pratchett, Discworld, Robert Asprin, Myth Adventures, Piers Anthony, Xanth, Douglas Adams, Harry Harrison, and countless other comedic mediums. Readers will find a new, fun, comedic fantasy world to play in. Wizards, magic, Dwarfs, Orcs, Ogres, Trolls, Gnomes, Halflings, Vampires, Zombies, Dragons, Gorgans, and more fill the vastness of Ononokin.

The endearingly hilarious tale about a young Gnome who strikes out on his own! Gappy Whirligig is an industrious Gnome who has yet to reach the Age of Tinkering. He's 42. But, as anyone who lives in the Gnome town of Hubintegler can tell you, things have a way of exploding when least expected. In a flash, Gappy's life flips upside down, leaving him to make the decision to either strike out on his own or become a 42-year-old foster child. Gappy demonstrates his industrious spirit as he leaves Hubintegler's rules and regulations behind and instead seeks to make his mark in the seedy town of Planoontik. Along with his Orc assistant, Shrit, Gappy fights through the red tape of starting a business, running a business, dealing with the local Halfia (the Halfling Mafia), and battling the competition. The land of Ononokin gets its influence as a hodgepodge from Monty Python, National Lampoon, Family Guy, Terry Pratchett, Discworld, Robert Asprin, Myth Adventures, Piers Anthony, Xanth, Douglas Adams, Harry Harrison, and countless other comedic mediums. Readers will find a new, fun, comedic fantasy world to play in. Wizards, magic, Dwarfs, Orcs, Ogres, Trolls, Gnomes, Halflings, Vampires, Zombies, Dragons, Gorgans, and more fill the vastness of Ononokin.

It's not easy to let your apprentice run the show... Gungren is tired of waiting to become a full-fledged wizard, but Whizzfiddle isn’t one who takes well to his apprentices pushing him around. Unfortunately, the Fates have decided to give one of their infamous quests to the tiny fellow, leaving Whizzfiddle with little choice but to lend his support. On top of that, it seems there was something more to the spell that had transformed Gungren from a dumb Giant into the smart, squat, wizard wanna-be. Heliok, the Fate who masterminded The Twelve (the gods who created all of Ononokin), has been told that the percentage of believers has dwindled to unacceptable rates. If he doesn’t get it fixed within 90 days, he’ll be pushing a mop around for the janitorial department for the next thousand years. As fortune would have it, the perfect quest has risen to the occasion. Prince Jack Nubbins has gone missing and Princess Jill Henroot needs a wizard to help her find him before their wedding day!

Who needs a Master Wizard anyway? Major Wilbur Wiggles doesn't know it yet, but all four of his older brothers have been killed in combat. The military brass has tried to notify him, but the Major's squad has gone dark because their radios are out. Spotting an opportunity, the Fates summon Gungren for the second leg of his three-part Fate Quest. They task him with hunting down Major Wiggles on behalf of the army. His goal is to find the man, get him to army headquarters, and then take him back home so that Mrs. Wiggles doesn't lose her only remaining son. As if that wasn't tough enough, Gungren and Whizzfiddle had a falling out. That means Gungren won't have his master's help during this quest... or will he? Fans of Monty Python and Discworld will find a grand new playground in the Tales From the Land of Ononokin series. INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR: Q: What makes the Tales From the Land of Ononokin series special? A: I had just finished watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy and was thinking how much fun it would be to create a fantasy world of my own that brought in a very strange mix of our present-day cultures and those of the Middle Ages. I also wanted to alter the myths regarding standard fantasy races around a bit. I essentially turn normal fantasy on its head wherever possible, and it makes each book a laugh-out-loud blast. Q: So, why should readers give these books a try? A: Because Tales From the Land of Ononokin is a wonderful world to play in. It has comedy, interesting characters, tons of world elements to discover, and a never-ending supply of story ideas. Plus, it's not politically correct. It's also not intended for the kiddies, which means that you'll get mild adult humor thrown into the mix as well. ...and have I mentioned that the main wizard in the first story has to get a bit sloshed in order to do magic? Come on... that's funny! Tales From the Land of Ononokin Fantasy eBook Categories: Comedic Fantasy Science Fiction & Fantasy Sword & Sorcery Paranormal & Urban Metaphysical & Visionary Comedy & Dark Comedy Humor & Satire Scroll up and tap or click BUY NOW to take a trip into the hilarious land of Ononokin TODAY!

The final leg of Gungren's three-part Fate Quest has been set in stone, and it's a doozy. The Ultimate Dragon Fighting Championship (UDFC) only occurs once every ten years. This is the 100th running. That means lights, cameras, and coverage like never before. Plus, the reigning champion, a dragon known as Crazell, can hit a milestone of twenty-five consecutive title defenses if she can pull in another win. The Fate known as Heliok has entered Gungren into the tournament and the little giant must do his best to take home the prize. This is a problem considering that Gungren is not known as someone who enjoys hurting others. On top of that, there's a mob boss who has one of his own fighters in the match. As a general rule, crime bosses don't like to lose, meaning he'll go a long way to make sure his contestant comes out on top. Translation: There's a lot of danger in Gungren's future. While he doesn't have to actually win the tournament, showing up at all is a dicey situation. In fact, there's a better than average chance that he'll end up in the Afterlife during his first bout. But Gungren has little choice in the matter...unless he wants to turn back into a big dumb giant and lose his dream of becoming a full wizard once and for all.