A Gay Pirate Romance Adventure! Banned by the Texas Renaissance Festival. Buy it before it's banned everywhere! In Book 1 of The Seamen Sexology, Rear Admiral François le Foutre is come upon by his arch-nemesis and part-time lover, Captain Cocksmith Standish. Cocksmith and his men come all over the Raging Queen, take all of François' seamen, and store them in the fo'c'sle with no hope of escape. "It will bring shame and ignominy upon your family. Unless you give it to someone as a gift, and then it will bring shame and ignominy upon their family." — Oskar Hasselhoff, author of Grab Them By The Crotch And Throw Them Out The Window

In the sequel to the critically acclaimed banned book There’s Seamen on the Poop-Deck! the salty seamen of the Raging Queen learn that the Duchess of Dicker has stolen the Golden Rod and hidden it in her person. (Ew.) Much to the crew’s horror, François’ coxswain must go to Dicker, seduce the Duchess, and extract the Golden Rod before it’s too late.

François is at it again, this time tackling the CEMM Guzzler—a big, important pinnace—and going to Balls Green after the notorious filcher, A. Niall Pilfry. His the King Key Sextant, legendary for its power to make men do unspeakable things