A Mafia romance satire. The ultimate fantasy is wrapped up in dark, gritty reality. She’s young, innocent, and gorgeous. He’s older, has a scar, and knows how to hold his gun. She can’t help but be drawn to men who know how to shoot load after load into a body, even one that’s gone limp and breathless. He can’t help but be drawn to women who blink up at him with ditzy doe-eyes and are TSTL. Their love isn’t just dark, it’s twisted. Because she has a secret. And so does he. And their secrets will nearly destroy their love. But make no mistake, sex will conquer all. Author's Note: This is a satire not an actual romance. Think of it as the Southpark of dark romance. If you aren't into trope mockery, then this little April Fool's creation isn't for you.