Tru Whoever said food was the way to a “man’s” heart and not a “woman’s” obviously never tried cake, or steak, ohhh or pizza, mmmm tacos… I’m getting off subject. Anyways, whoever said that must have had a starving skinny bitch deep inside her somewhere begging for a milkshake. Poor girl. Me? I’m a Rebel. You know, eating cookie dough in my underwear or drinking beer before breakfast. Don’t judge me. I’m celebrating. Another year, another Fourth of July spent alone. My plan was to eat until I put myself in a coma, cuddle up to my new puppy Duck, and forget how lonely it felt out here on the lake all by myself. But then Duck decided to live up to his namesake. That’s how I met him. The man who fell head over heels in love with me. What did it take you might ask? Cake? Nope. Pizza? Wrong again. All it took was my charming personality and a black eye. Zeke You’d think after growing up in a huge Italian family nothing would surprise me and normally you’d be right but then I meet her. She’s nothing like I’ve ever imagined. She’s funny, sarcastic as hell, and completely unpredictable. She’s absolutely perfect. Now I just have to figure out how to settle her down long enough to give her my last name. Luckily I have an ally on my side, my mother. More specifically my mother's cooking. I’m not at all ashamed to admit I may have used that to win her heart. What’s a little bribery anyways when it comes to your forever? All is fair in love and war… or in my case, love and food. Read less