Teenage hit men, dildo tycoons, council estates, a choice of porn, insane father in laws, sex with your best friend's mum, Dickinson's Real Deal, Jesus on drugs, the smelly kid at school, down on their luck gamblers, how to acknowledge two Keiths in the same room, thirty years in half an hour, erratic bus drivers with a death wish, and a man who really can't abide by bad grammar. Just another day in The North then... You'll laugh out loud at this hilarious collection of tales straight from the twisted mind that brought you the number one best selling Strangers are Just Friends you Haven't Killed yet and Tomorrow's Chip Paper. Meet the father-in-law hell bent on destroying his daughter's new relationship in Call me Dr Fuck Knuckles, watch how a drug dealing scally from Manchester falls into the deadly occupation of murder for money in The Tale I Said I'd Tell, see the heartbreaking effects that one man's actions have over the course of thirty years in The Short Version, and meet Joe, the quirky stranger with a disgusting habit in Bogies. You'll laugh, you'll cringe, you'll vomit all over your shoes. Stories featured within this book are: 1. Baron Catastrophe and the King of the Jackals 2. Glass Half Empty 3. The Bad Day 4. Playing Out Clothes 5. Bogies 6. The Tale I Said I'd Tell 7. The Short Version 8. Call me Dr Fuck Knuckles 9. Tha Dunt Come Frumt Tarn Tha Gets Nowt Frumt Tarn 10. The Happiest Day of Your Lives 11. The Banjo String Snapped but the Band Played on