Sometimes there are stories about other people. But if you read between the lines you'll find that most stories are about me: Brandon Thighmaster. And why wouldn't they be? You can have your tales of derring-do and double-crossing rogues, sure, but that's kind of the story bread, you know? Useless carbs. You want to get to the meat of the story, that's where the rich protein is. Hi, I'm Brandon Thighmaster. I'm the meat.