A single dad, a model, and a comedian walk into a bar… They’re all Owen Brodie. It’s only funny if you aren’t the hilarious struggling comedian who has been hired to be his son’s nanny for the stand-up tour. Dear Ms. Hogan, I’m emailing to offer you the job as my son’s nanny because Sam had a temper tantrum when I told him I can’t hire you to come on my stand-up tour with us. “She heckled me at a club a few years ago,” I wanted to say. “She is the sassy little turd who trolls me on Twitter,” I could have told him. “She’s an even bigger pain in the butt when we’re face-to-face,” I thought to myself. What I would never tell him is—things could get complicated. For reasons. Let me know if you want the job. With great reluctance, Owen

AdorableHowObsessedYouAreWithMe

Dear Mr. Brodie, Thank you for your email. Please inform Sam that I like him very much and would love to be his nanny and accompany him on your terrible joke of a stand-up tour. I can assure you—things will not get complicated. For many, many reasons. Primarily because Owen Brodie isn’t funny, and he can suck it. Out of financial desperation and a fondness for your son, Frankie

GetOverYourselfPrettyBoy