Humanity needed a hero. It got a karaoke DJ. Leo MacGavin is not the brightest specimen of humanity. But when he inadvertently rescues a flirty alien heiress, he’s promoted from second-rate lounge entertainer to captain of the galaxy’s most sophisticated cruise ship. Before he can flee in terror, a human-hating executive gives Leo an ultimatum—complete the vessel’s maiden voyage or mankind’s last colony will be turned into a sewage dump. To make matters worse, a militant cyborg is undermining his authority, a giant spider is terrifying the passengers, and a sentient plant keeps stealing all the beer. If Leo ever wants to see his home again, he’ll have to keep the guests happy through seven days of onboard antics and madcap shore excursions. As strange malfunctions tear the ship apart, can he hold his rag-tag crew together, or will he flush the last bastion of humanity down the crapper?

Galactic war, mass destruction, and a whole lot of wasted wedding cake. After generations of conflict, an arranged marriage is set to unite two feuding royal families and bring peace to their worlds. But when bungling Captain Leo MacGavin botches the bride and groom’s first meeting, the wedding is off, and so is the truce! To stop an interplanetary war, Leo needs to make a royal love connection, and fast! But when he seeks help from his confidante Kellybean, he inadvertently sabotages her budding relationship as well. To further complicate matters, his ship is on the verge of catastrophic failure, his first officer is weaponizing the safety gear, and his acting head of hospitality is a sociopath who keeps maiming the guests. When Leo’s old flame makes a mysterious reappearance, can she help him unite the nuptial-bound nemeses, or is the whole galaxy royally screwed? "Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed" is the second uproarious adventure of the cruise starship WTF Americano Grande, featuring aliens in inflatable fat suits, a gladiator-style singles mingle, and a few very tasteful and understated poop jokes. Grab your copy today!