Susan is 58-years-old and bored with life. Middle age is a daily drudge of sagging body parts and aches and pains. Her fervent prayer that she could somehow recapture her youth comes true one night during a chance encounter with a child-like vampire. As soon as the other women in her family see the transformation they waste no time in sticking their necks out, hoping Susan will share this new-found fountain of youth. Suddenly, this newly born group of hot-bodied vamps find themselves thrust into a world controlled by an ancient order of vampires. A world with rules, all of which the ladies pretty much break within hours of becoming immortals. And the little matter of the accidental epidemic of vamped out wildlife isn't exactly endearing them to the powers that be, either. They're So Vein is a hilarious and irreverent new twist on the paranormal/vampire romance genre.

Susan's sister is in one hell of a mess (literally); confined to servitude with the demon, Rafael. When Rafael gifts JoAnn with an Earth-to-Abyss cellphone so she can communicate with her sister, Susan soon finds out that JoAnn has gone from servitude to concubine, and no longer wishes to come home. Only problem is that JoAnn really loves her new cell phone and the frequent calls—time really moves like Hell in the Abyss—are driving Marcus and Susan batty! In their attempt to retrieve JoAnn, THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD team ultimately finds themselves knee-deep in vamp critters, demons, rogues, and a host of new and colorful characters, when the mission takes them from their home in Florida to the streets of New Orleans.