Complete Standalone Romance Wanted A woman with grit and fire who will help me get my son’s head out of his ass. You must be self-sufficient and not looking for a gravy train. Common sense is a plus, book smarts are optional. Cannot have red hair, as my son seems to go for that type and he needs something to shake him up. Must have a backbone, but be flexible enough to bend—and I’m not talking in the bedroom—some things a mother doesn’t need to know. Bonus points if your name is Daisy, Lily, Bluebell, Jasmine, etc. But not Dahlia, that’s an instant no. Must love kids, especially puberty-stricken boys who are discovering girls are more fun than video games. Also, and this is very important, you must hate all things baseball—bonus points if you’ve never seen a game either on television or in person. If this description is you, or fits someone you know, apply at the address below. P.S. You must also love cows. Sometimes a mother has to do what she has to do. Let the games begin.