I’m stuck on a pleasure planet with a crazy alien warrior who is supposed to be my mate. This is waaaaay beyond FML. If I knew when I woke up this morning that I was gonna find out there are honest to god aliens out in space and they’re taking human women as mates and I was gonna be next… well, I would have just gone back to sleep. The worst part? He thinks I’m a human warrior that’s just as crazy as him. See, I’m an actress. I’ve been stuck doing action movies. And someone somewhere made a mistake. They thought I did my own stunts. So they matched us, and stuck us together. I mean, what are two supersoldiers supposed to do on a date? Kill cyborgs? Raid outposts? I’m more used to mini golf and cocktails. I better figure out a way for us to work together. And soon. Because he’s got a whole month planned out for us. Love really did turn out to be war. Literally.