~ Lena ~ At 17-years-old, I have everything going for me . . . until less than sixty seconds changes everything. Nine months ago, I survived a school shooting, then buried twenty-two of my classmates, including the boy of my dreams. Now, I'm expected to return to school for Senior Year, but I can't. Not when the shooting was my fault. If I'd only done what the note said, none of this would've happened. In small town Virginia, the only things that matter are God and football, and no one in this town forgets anything. That's when my dad ships me across the country to my grandparents to finish high school on the Oregon Coast. I'm happy about it, actually. No one's going to stare at me, silently blaming me for whoever they lost in the cafeteria that day. I can move on with life, go through the motions, get through the year, leave it all behind . . . Until the town's golden boy, Declan Harp, saves me from myself and makes it his personal mission to restore my faith, and love me past my pain. But, small towns are just that, no matter what coast they're on, and when my pain becomes public, it crumbles everything in me all over again. I can either stay in this darkness, holding on to the memory of those that died because of me, or forgive myself and learn how to live again. Declan is determined not to give up on me, but I know I can't love him if all I do is exist.

The only thing better than going to college is being able to experience it with your best friends and the love of your life.Having Lena beside me as we start the next chapter of our lives means the world to me, especially since we've overcome so much to be together.But Freshman year ends up being a lot more than I bargained for, and when it's the first time I've truly been away from home on my own, I don't know what comes over me, but clearly, I forget how to make good decisions.Lena joins a calm, supportive sorority that supports our faith and goals for education and life. I, on the other hand, get recruited by the biggest, loudest, and most notorious fraternity on campus. Their alumni list includes politicians, high-ranking businessmen, professional athletes, and even some celebrities. It's the exact place that can help make dreams come true after graduation.The only problem is their initiation hazing pushes me to the limits not just physically, but it undermines and contradicts everything I believe in - the very core values to which I've build myself and my integrity.By the time I realize how bad it's gotten, I'm one step away from losing the thing that means more to me than anything else - Lena.Now, I have to stand up to the fraternity and earn back my girlfriend's trust, both of which seem damn near impossible.

Sometimes, even when two people love each other… it's not enough. Freshman Year at college tested the bond between Declan and I. Despite agreeing to do everything we could to save our relationship, heading into Sophomore Year, I'm not so sure. Not because he hasn't shown me a million times over that he's sorry and loves me. It's more because I'm keeping a secret from him that could end us. Even though Declan never cheated on me, my self-esteem took a hit. When I overhear one of the Cheerleaders gossiping about how Declan is going to leave me because I'm overweight and don't put out… I become obsessed with losing weight and becoming the type of beauty my twisted mind thinks Declan deserves. I'm not stupid, though, and by our third month back at school, Declan is well aware that I'm losing weight the wrong way. The worst fight of our relationship hits at my dorm one night when he finds the evidence of my tricks. When I open up to him, instead of being mad, he feels responsible and makes me promise to stop. But I can't. Even though deep down, I want to… I can't stop thinking about gaining weight and Declan leaving me, so I continue on and just hide better. As my issues get worse, my outlet of self-harm comes back too, and I'm praying Declan can save me before it's too late.