Ruby King believed that the move would be a good thing. She thought the quiet mountain town would be the perfect place to live with her husband, her children, and her absolutely massive knockers. But that was before she learned about the abandoned church in the woods... and before the evil super computer whirled to devilish life... and before she heard the sexual assault creatures prowling the night. Ruby knows better now. This is not a safe place. This is not a happy place. This is... NOT ANOTHER 80s HORROR NOVEL!