In a portrait of the author as a Hollywood dad, semi-legendary writer Neal Pollack humorously recounts his failed attempts to transform his family into a multi-platform media brand. After an encouraging call from a film and TV agent in Los Angeles, happily married and once-almost-bestselling author Neal Pollack plunges through the slightest of openings to pursue the modern American dream: fame. He uproots his family—including his wife, Regina, a painter with whom he shares a pact to always honor each other’s artistic pursuits—and moves to California. What follows is a funny and ultimately moving account of ridiculous bad timing and luck. In a monumental first step, Pollack accidentally options his life rights to a major film studio. From afar he watches as his new hipster-parenting memoir, Alternadad, garners actual vitriol from the national press. The Writer’s Guild goes on strike as soon as Pollack becomes a member, and—in his breakthrough moment—he stands before the head of comedy development at HBO to deliver his pitch…and forgets what he has to say. Not Coming Soon to a Theater Near You is a lighthearted look at one man’s ill-fated worming into the heart of Hollywood, the Silver Lake School District, and Los Angeles at large, but it also reveals a darn good marriage under significant duress.