​As an illness know as the trotting plague sweeps the nation, Bill is taking all the necessary precautions. The most difficult one for him to implement, however, is social distancing. At first Bill is content to simply avoid large crowds, but when he finds himself trotting, a symptom of the trotting plague, he decides to self-quarantine entirely. It’s not easy to cease all in-person social activity, especially when Bill has three upcoming dates this weekend. As the dates arrive at his house and Bill turns them away, however, he beings to realize just how understanding his loved ones are in this time of crisis. He also realizes just how much he’s going to get done over the next few weeks, and discovers that there are much worse fates than some time on his own. After not getting pounded by anything while he practices responsible social distancing, Bill discovers the most important date of all was a date with himself. This no sex tale is 4,100 words of self-quarantine action, including learning safe habits, respecting boundaries, and doing your part for the health and safety of others.