Plight [plahyt] Noun: a difficult, or otherwise unfortunate situation. Verb: pledge or solemnly promise. Be engaged to be married. Elliot Parker was my best friend. When we were eight years old, he gave me a cheese ring, pushed it onto my finger, and asked me to marry him. I ate the cheese ring. I also said, “Yes” but that we’d have to wait until we were thirty years old. Two years later, we both nearly drowned. Four years after that, he moved away and I never saw him again. I turned thirty last week, and now Elliot is calling in our promise. Seriously, he is insane if he thinks that an out-of-the-blue private Facebook message stipulating the binding law of an oral contractual agreement is going to seal our twenty-two-year bullshit engagement. Insane. I wonder if he really does look like his profile picture though.