Rachel Riley is the offspring of a depressingly unbroken home. Her mum and dad refuse to let her have a mobile phone, and have banned Ribena and Eastenders. Her seven year old brother buys Will Young dolls from eBay and talks in Elvish, and the adopted dog eats her 'Pride and Prejudice' boxed collection. It's time for change.

My quest to find 'the one' starts right now! This year I will utterly not snog random posh boys with congenital acne but will save myself for long-haired creative type with interest in tragicness and with musical potential i.e. Justin Statham. Though am not sure Justin has realised yet that I am 'the one' for him.

It is official. I am going out with rock god and part-time meat mincer Justin Statham. Am certain that he is THE ONE and will prove it by having excellent relationship on every level. Oh no. What if he wants me to do it? Have only just got to grips with art of snogging so will need to get help fast.

Making plan with Scarlet to deal with post-break-up trauma. We are going to channel anger into something positive and have new mission statement: 1. Not to moon about over exes but to embrace single life. 2. To stay away from all men (Sad Ed excepted as he is not actual man. He tried to disagree on this but was outnumbered). 3. To remain true to our friends, forsaking all others. 4. To remember that we alone are responsible for our own happiness. Scarlet is right. Life will be so much easier without the complications of love. It will be utter Simple Life and am completely committed. Am starting tomorrow.

Carpe diem i.e. seize the day! Which means utter experimenting as far as snogging is concerned. Am never going to find the ONE if just keep having accidental liaisons with Jack or ill-advised flirtations with Justin. The ONE is out there somewhere. Maybe even right under my nose. I just need to be open-minded. And open-armed. And possibly open-mouthed. Life, as they say, is what you make it. And am definitely, no doubt about it, going to make mine fabulous. Starting now. Read the hilarious results of Rachel Riley's 'seize the day' philosophy in this fantastic fifth instalment of her diaries.

Typical! Just when I thought I'd found THE ONE, he gets all stroppy about a snog that wasn't even my fault and storms off. Well, enough is enough! It's time for me to wake up and smell the coffee (or at least the hot chocolate) and forget all about romance. Who needs a fairytale happy ending anyway? From now on, will deal only in cold hard facts ...I'm Rachel Riley - welcome to my so-called life.

Ta-dah! So, this is it, am finally going to shake off the shackles of my dull, suburban upbringing and venture out into the big, wide world. I foresee a life of tragic literary friends, vintage markets, and ironic tea parties. All I have to do is pass exams, get a place at uni, and persuade mum to let me go. Easy! It is totally the end of an era. Jack's moved on and so will I. Jack's history. Jack is no more. In fact, Jack who? I'm Rachel Riley - welcome to my so-called life. This fantastic, brand new story celebrates the final chapter in the hilarious Rachel Riley Diaries - it's the last hurrah!