Patrick “Weasel” Weasley is worried he’s not spending enough time with his new boyfriend Tony, now that they are living and working in different towns. He decides the best way to cement the relationship is to buy Tony a ring for Christmas. Unfortunately, Weasel's evil stepfather—a rat bastard if ever there was one—has cut him off without a cent, and he is left with no other choice. He must (gasp!) get a job! Weasel wouldn't mind working at the Phantom Lady Inn if it wasn't for Tony's ex-boyfriend Gates Stumpenhorst, who wants to beat the stuffing out of him, or Cicely Talbot, a writer who believes she can prove to Weasel that he's not really gay. As if that wasn’t enough, the deputy sheriff thinks Weasel is the local arsonist. Adding to their troubles is a rumored Phantom Lady haunting the inn and pilfering trinkets. With all this going on, Weasel might not live to survive Christmas, much less find time to go on a date with Tony!