It’s the 21st century, and mermaids are real. How do I know? Because I am one. The sea witch kidnapped my boyfriend and my voice, and now I have to rely on my friends to get him back, all while being chased by a horde of horny mermen, each eager to be the one to claim and breed me. Yuck. That’s what being the first siren in hundreds of years will do to you. I don’t take anyone’s shit. Once I’m done, these mers and the sea witch won’t know what hit them.