A veteran scientific test subject, Chom Bullusk has managed to carve out a living for himself in the lab, but when he spots an offer for a five-million-dollar trial, Chom is not sure what to make of it. The danger typically mirrors the pay, but this money is good enough that Chom is willing to take his chances. Soon enough, Chom is learning that he has the perfect median butthole, a complete anal average of all mankind, and is perfect for this high-profile study. But when the mysterious and handsome scientist Doctor Arper Schrodinger puts Chom's butt in a box, things take a turn for the strange. Now Chom is traveling though a Tingleverse tesseract, pounded by every quantum superposition of his own past and future in an attempt to answer Schrodinger's haunting Is the butt in the box gay, straight, or both at the same time? This erotic tale is 4,300 words of sizzling human-on-physicist-dinosaur action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, cream pies and infinitely repeating variable-reality love.