When aging, balding, copy editor Ernest "Sparky" Hemingway (no relation) gets a call from the daughter of his Vietnam buddy George Washington (also no relation), he is faced with a choice. He can head out to Minneapolis to help her out of a jam or hang up the phone—and this phone call has the potential to turn Sparky's life upside down. He's managed to erect a pretty effective cocoon around himself over the last few years, and no amount of aggravation (or thoughts about his long-gone ex-wife) can get through his very carefully nurtured shell. He's very comfortable living (well, maybe just existing) in the little North Dakota town of Hardwoods, filled with its decidedly odd folks who just do what they have to in order to get along, where everybody knows everybody else's secret but pretends they don't. He's left alone, and that's the way Sparky likes it. But you don't walk away from a promise. Especially when that promise was made to somebody who pulled your butt out of more unfriendly and friendly fire than a hailstorm of June bugs. You don't ask, you just do. His fellow vet buddy Doc Holiday (you guessed it, no relation) meets him in Minneapolis and tosses him a .45, which comes in handy when they run into a hard time with some gang-bangers who are after the girl in question. They rescue Washington's teenage daughter, Tenisha, and Doc and Sparky split up, Sparky taking Tenisha and her cat back to his place. Between dealing with the aforementioned gang-bangers, the Minneapolis police, who are hassling Sparky, Doc's brain tumor, and the mostly white town Sparky lives in taking umbrage at the color of Tenisha's skin—not to mention having to haul a four-month-pregnant neighbor and her baby to his house for safety during a blizzard—Sparky thinks he's handling himself pretty well. And then things start to get weird.

When aging, balding, copyeditor Ernest "Sparky" Hemmingway (no relation) got a call from Tenishia, the daughter of his late Vietnam buddy George Washington (also no relation), he was faced with a head out to Minneapolis to help her out of a jam or hang up the phone. He made the decision to help and it changed his life. Along with his old army buddy Doc Holiday (you guessed it-no relation) Sparky faced down the bad guys and found out who caused Washington's death. Sparky chooses to give Tenishia a shot at a normal life and takes her back to the little North Dakota town of Hardwoods, filled with decidedly odd folks who just do what they have to in order to get along-a place where everybody knows everybody's else secrets but pretends they don't. When he begins the unenviable task of rearing an almost grown inner-city teenager, many in the town think he's nuts. But this girl isn't just anybody, and the bonds-and promises-made in war sometimes last even longer than a man's life. Just when Sparky thinks he's got the hang of his new lifestyle, he gets roped into becoming a deputy sheriff and runs smack dab into a political wrangle over the possible building of a major trauma center in the town. The hospital could be just the thing to save a sleepy little hamlet that loses farm kids every year to the big cities. But Hardwoods isn't the only town that is vying for the honor, and where people's jobs and lives are at stake, is there any doubt that a dead body or two will join the party any minute?