This story describes the drama that occurs when a father tells his son, Chris, that babies grow out of cabbages. Unfortunately, Chris then finds a baby in a cabbage patch and becomes an instant father.

'You can't have a party without music,' said Dad. 'You can't have a fire without smoke,' said Whacka. It went from bad to worse after that. A barbecue from hell. Spuds on the roof. A visit from the police. It was war, a fight to the finish between Dad and Whacka. And Chris was right in the middle of it. All because Dad vomited in the cabbage patch. It could only be a Paul Jennings story.

The night was suddenly filled with a new sound. Green bottoms began to blurp & blarp all over the place. Horrible wet noises came from every nappy. One green nappy is gross. But fifty is really foul. Poor Chris has his hands full this time.

"Help!" shouted Chris. "Please, somebody help!" The silent green head had power over him. The cabbage patch curse was too strong. Zip! - down came his fly. "Don't look, don't look!" shouted Chris. "Don't look, don't look!" shouted Ms Henderson. But it was too late. Chris let fly. Splash, splash, sploosh. It could only happen in a Paul Jennings story...