“Hermione,” he said in a strained voice, ”please don’t take offense by how blunt I’m about to be, but I’m honestly afraid that if I explain this with any type of subtlety it will somehow continue to elude you.” Hermione’s expression grew indignant but Draco ignored it and pressed on. “I am trying to seduce you,” he said, staring her straight in the eye. Her indignation faded as her mouth dropped open and her eyes slowly grew round. He continued, “I have been trying to seduce you for over two years; ever since I first brought up the idea of our having a book club together.” This story was inspired by Neil Gaiman’s response to the question: What is the best way to seduce a writer? “In my experience, writers tend to be really good at the inside of their own heads and imaginary people, and a lot less good at the stuff going on outside, which means that quite often if you flirt with us we will completely fail to notice, leaving everybody involved slightly uncomfortable and more than slightly unlaid. So I would suggest that any attempted seduction of a writer would probably go a great deal easier for all parties if you sent them a cheerful note saying “YOU ARE INVITED TO A SEDUCTION: Please come to dinner on Friday Night. Wear the kind of clothes you would like to be seduced in.” And alcohol may help, too. Or kissing. Many writers figure out that they’re being seduced or flirted with if someone is actually kissing them.” Massive beta help from Jamethiel who patiently read and reread this monstrous one-shot and nudged me firmly in the right direction whenever I went astray.