Turkey on fire? Obnoxious relatives headed your way? No one to kiss on New Year's Eve? Here are illustrated, step-by-step instructions to help you survive the joys of the Christmas holiday season; How to Silence a Group of Carol Singers How to Rescue Someone Stuck in a Chimney How to Deal with a Cancelled Flight How to Untangle Christmas Tree Lights How to Treat a Tongue Stuck to a Pole How to Thwart Gift Snoopers How to Overcome Christmas Depression How to Explain That There is No Santa ... and dozens of other festivities gone awry.