A new essay collection from Samantha Irby about aging, marriage, settling down with step-children in white, small-town America. Irby is turning forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and is courted by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife and two step-children in a small white, Republican town in Michigan where she now hosts book clubs. This is the bourgeois life of dreams. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "skinny, luminous peoples" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," and hides Entenmann's cookies under her bed and unopened bills under her pillow. Into the gross—Girls gone mild—Hung up! — Late-1900s time capsule—Love and marriage—Are you familiar with my work? — Hysterical! — Lesbian bed death—Body negativity—Country crock—A guide to simple home repairs—We almost got a fucking dog—Detachment parenting—Season 1, episode 1 — Hollywood summer — $$$ — Hello, 911? — An extremely specific guide to publishing a book